every moment of our life we are confronted with choices. with choices come consequences and with consequences, chances to learn…

As Christians we know, in theory at least, that in the life of a child of God there are no second causes, that even the most unjust and cruel things, as well as all seemingly pointless and undeserved sufferings have been permitted by God as a glorious oppurunity for us to react to them in such a way that our Lord and Saviour is able to produce in us, little by little, His own lovely character.

im learning that doubt – isn’t a bad thing. and that doubt and beliefe run almost hand in hand. im learning that i can no longer accept anything verbatim simply because my parents did/do. im learning to take every single thing with a grain of salt…. and im learning the importance of listening to what people are actually saying… and not just their words…

im learning that the precious things in life arent always forever… and that… as important as holding on is…. just as important – and sometimes more important… is letting go.
letting go of the past… of peoples expectations of you… and, as stupid as it may seem – of your expectations of other people… im learning to cherrish the moments as they come… and to not worry about tomorrow. tomorrow will take care of itself….

im learning to let go of roads ive spent years walking on… and ive learned the joy of walking away. ive learned the hardship that comes from walking where you think He’s leading, and im learning the humbleness needed when what i thought was wrong…
ive learned to stick to my decisions and fight for them as hard as i can – and ive committed myself to a 180degree turn just as fierce if i am wrong…

ive learned that not everyone you call a friend will understand -or be able to live with- the decisions you make. ive learned that sometimes, walking away from the good things in your life, will lead you to the God things you were missing. im learning im not perfect, and that i cant expect others to be perfect either. im learning that im in need of His grace daily… and that His grace is for today…. not tomorrow….

im realizing God is a now God… and no matter what i think or feel – im caustiously…. carefully… begining to allow myself to trust Him again….

on a side note, today marks the 53rd week ive been livin on my own. my family left for a “3 week trip”… 1 year ago this past friday.

welcome to my life….its a life im learning about….its a life im living through… its the life i think im living.

Advertisements