oh how i remember the nite. 1 year ago today.i had flown back ‘home’ from seeing my family for the first time in nearly six months.
i had left behind a fractured family. a family that didnt spend Christmas as a single unit.
a family with a member fighting for her life and another dying under our noses.
oh yeah… by the way – it was my birthday.

i came ‘home’ to a house that had been completely torn apart and put into boxes. it seems my dad contacted some of his friends to pack the house in an orderly fasion. i guess he thought id be moving down there…..

anyway, so yeah. i came “home” and all of a suddend… home wasnt “home” anymore. i remember going through a full blown panic attack that night… not knowing what on earth to do. feeling absolutely unwanted. i dont know, maybe it sounds like something easy to handle… but walking into my house, and seeing it litterally stripped of everything that reminded me of my family. of my legacy… of my past… of…

me.

that whole nite tore me apart. the only reason i slept that nite was a mixture of an overdose of nyquill and sheer exhaustion.

1 year ago today. funny how i didnt even think of it till just a lil while ago. funny… and somewhere in the realm of nauseating and gut-wrenching.

anyway… happy birthday to me.