it isnt fun. its never something we ask for. its something we’d just as soon avoid. sometimes, we even run from it.but at the end of the day…. when all i have are the thoughts in my head… it all comes down to that word.

i feel so frustrated by the extreme lack of the english language to convey how intense, how passionate, how crushing… my emotions are.

take for instance the word “miss”. as in “i miss so and so”. that is the most understated word you could use for what i feel about my family.

new topic.

for the past 18 months ive lived without the direct influence of my parents. as of last week wednesday, i will now never again live with the influence of my father. and its funny, im hurting for… longing for… craving… all of a sudden… for the type of relationship that he and i never had.

thats it… im done for tonite.
but i will leave you with this…
there is no lonlier feeling on this earth… than to go to bed with no one to say goodnite too. its a simple thing, i know. but id give all i have for one more goodnite kiss from my mom….

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