part of me wants to run and hide and not say whats on my heart…. but my heart wont let me.  and for tonight, i think i’ll let my heart win.

im realizing that so much this thing called love is far removed from romantic dinners, evenings at the movies, or coffee and conversation…. and so much closer to a broken, imperfect, blemished, failure of a human…. asking for someone to love him or her.

i’m not trying to be down on myself here… but if i’m honest, thats what i am.  and actually, thats what you are.  broken.  pieces of our experiences woven together, held in place… by grace.

what do i want out of a relationship?  do i want kids?  what kind of house?  do i want off white or pure white napkins at the reception?  none of it matters…

my memories wont be filled with the bouquet she threw, or the china we picked out. my memories will be filled with her scent and the way the morning sun makes her hair sparkle.

my memories will have nothing to do with the minivan, or the house we live in, the jobs we have or how successful i am.

but with her eyes and her smile.  and how her eyes glow when she smiles. that she loves tomatoes in her salad and will happily eat mine, because i don’t.  that she hates the toilet paper coming from the underside of the roll…

and that she is beautiful, even when she is certain she isn’t.

and the fact that she loves me.  and that i love her.

these are the things i will remember

i dont know who you are… but i’m here.  broken, imperfect, blemished…. and in so many ways, a failure of a man.  im pieces, held together by grace.

but i will let you eat my tomatoes.

love is walking on water, while the storm rages all around.  and its knowing that if you begin to fall, someone will be there to catch you.