i was going to write about romance, about what my heart yearns for.  about finding that one special girl who’s hand will fit perfectly in mine. that girl who will completely rock my world, cause me to question everything, and holds the dreams of my future in her eyes.

but ive been derailed.

i was going to write about being 28, and single.  about not knowing if i would ever find her.  about questioning if ‘waiting’ was worth it.

but i was reminded of the bigger picture.  and that there is a wonderous cross… blood stained, splintered, blessed because of Who gave their life on it.  and that He gave His life because He loved me.

i’m reminded that i needed it, and that i need it.  every day, every moment.  that without this wonderous cross, i am nothing.  and it’s because of His sacrifice, that i am able to offer love to someone else.  it’s his love in my heart, that allows me to love beyond myself.  that beckons me to seek out those who hurt, and offer hope.

and that quitely whispers ‘…there is more…’

i dont have the answers, and my heart still yearns to love that…. one.  but i know the One who’s wings hold up the sky.  and until i find her, i will do all i can to be the man i am supposed to be.  to keep the Cross at the center of my life.  to love with all i am, and to follow Him.  wherever He leads.

Showbread – The Beginning (hover over for a pop-up player)


I used to dream that I could fly,
just above the whispered clouds, beneath the somber sky.
I had a dream I was alive,
I dreamt that love would never die. (goodbye)
Dreams were cheap and hope was easy…(so light),
the forgeries of life deceiving…(so bright),
and as I glided to the ground…(so long),
calcified, the concrete weighed me down… (cruel world).

Your wings are holding up the sky,
dear God, I had a dream that I could fly.

Alkaline the burning frost, has blistered deep beneath my bones,
And winter spat its hatred, cold and coiled, black and deep,
as it called me ever further, where evil burns and never sleeps.
I once had prayers that found no words, fragile things I’ve never spoken,
through my lips passed eulogies for all the oaths that I have broken.
And still the ghost of hope was haunting, through the dark to save the living,
and still beneath it all I dreamed that God could be forgiving.

Your wings are holding up the sky,
dear God, I had a dream that I could fly.

When I survey the wondrous cross On which the Prince of glory died, My richest gain I count but loss, And pour contempt on all my pride.

I am the worst of all things here,
my crooked, black, and lying heart still spits its bitter fear.
And each and every sparrow,
You see them flutter to the ground before they die,
So please God don’t forget me.

See from His head, His hands, His feet, Sorrow and love flow mingled down! Did e’er such love and sorrow meet, Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
To Christ, who won for sinners grace By bitter grief and anguish sore, Be praise from all the ransomed race Forever and forevermore!