i spent a portion of today at central market.  we needed fruit, and everyone knows central market carries the best.

to be honest, i’d forgotten it was Fathers day until halfway through picking plums.  and it was then that i saw her.  she wasnt what the world would call gorgeous.  she didnt have the body of a model or the face of a cover-girl…. but she was beautiful.  you could tell there was something behind her eyes.  something she was desperately trying to hide, and yet at the same time, spilled over into who she was.

i fought with myself for some time.  wondering if i should say anything.  all i wanted to to was let her know that i thought, that someone thought she was beautiful.  dont get me wrong, i didnt want her name, or number… and before you ask, i checked – there was no ring.

then something completely unexpected happened.  he walked up to her.  with their kid.

no ring.

no rings.

and a kid.

my thoughts changed.  my attitude changed.  what i wanted to say changed.

she had someone in her life who should have been telling her she was beautiful, that she was worth fighting for, that she was amazing and wonderful and that every day that he got to spend with her was breathtaking.  she had that someone already there…. and there wasnt a ring.

i wanted to walk up to him and tell him to man-up.  to quit having the best of both worlds and show her you loved her by giving her your life.

that kid needs to know you love her.  and that you’ll fight for her and that she’s amazing and wonderful and that you were thankful for every day you woke up next to her.  that kid needs to know his father is a man.  a real man.  unafraid of marriage, of love, of giving his all.

she needs to know that you’re a man, a real man.  that you’re unafraid of marriage, of commitment, of love, of giving her you’re all.  she’s most obviously given you everything….

she had so obviously given her life to him…. all i wanted to do was to tell him to give his life to her.

—–

i hope i never become that person.  i hope i never allow myself to slip into the ether of the in-between.  i hope and pray that if i ever find that special someone, that she knows beyond any shadow of a doubt that i love her.  that i’m terrified of commitment but that my fear wont stop me.  i hope she’s certain that she is worthy of my fight, of all i can give… that she is wonderful and beautiful and that being around her takes my breath away.

i hope that if i’m ever given the chance to be a father, to find out what it means to truly love someone with all i have, that on fathers day someone will see me in central market, and they will see our rings.

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