there are days that come and go and within what seems like moments, their memory has faded to almost nothingness.  days that subsisted almost solely of vapor.  days that we fill with what we believe to be the most important things in our lives.  work, bills, taxes, car repairs and copious amounts of coffee.

days that blend together until you cannot tell one from the next.  days, like any other day.

and then there are days that cause us to pause.  that give the gift of forcing us to stop.   days that throw us a curve ball, that derail our carefully laid plans.  days that bring clarity to a situation when there was none.  days full of emotion and pain and happiness and joy and grief.

days like yesterday, when my moms parents celebrated 56 years of marriage.  and days like tomorrow, where we will remember my dads mother who was just reunited with her husband of 62 years.

i look at my my moms folks.  alive and kicking even though they’re either just over or approaching the 8 decade mark.  i look at how many times they’ve driven across the country to visit us or other family members.  and how they’re still madly in love after all these years.

and i look at my dads parents, who built a dairy farm from the ground up.  my grandfather holding down a full time job while simultaneously milking upwards of a hundred head of cattle every morning and every evening.  and even though they’re no longer with us, their legacy lives on.

each of my grandparents raised 6 children.  and although no family is ever perfect, they each, in their own way, gave tremendously into their kids.

this weekend has been full of stories.  stories of hope.  stories that bring tears and smiles, often at the same time.  stories that tell of a great man and a great woman who did their best to raise a family.  and as i sit here in panera, i cannot help but see that there are footprints out there.

and that gives me hope.  hope that change is coming.  that the things ive put on hold the past few years are just that, on hold.  not lost forever.

i wonder, often, if i’ll be the man that can live up to that calling.  to be a man who is still in love with his wife 56 years into things.  who could hold down what would amount to two full time jobs just so he could provide for his kids.  a man that would leave behind a name that automatically brings respect in the circles that he influenced.

because if im honest with you, thats what i want.  i want people to remember me as someone who loved my wife with fierce passion.  someone who leaves behind a name that his kids are proud to use.  a man unashamed to show his love, to be tender and compassionate.  a man, worthy of the stories i will hear this week.  a man, worthy of the the stories i want my kids and grandkids to tell.

a man worthy of the author of this story.

i dont want a life full of vapor.  and though i learn this lesson all the time, im thankful for every reminder that life isnt meant to be full of car payments and an8-5.  that taxes and paying the bills isnt all there is to life.  i’m thankful for each reminder that there are bigger things im living for.  and that although i would never have chosen this path, i can know and trust that the author of this story is in control.  and even if, even when i dont see the next step, He does.

so i will trust.  i will trust that this author will take the 8-5, the car payments and taxes, and when the time is right, He will bring the bigger things.

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