I hadn’t been awake for 2 hours a few days ago and the to-do list in my head just kept growing.

No – the list of items on it was not getting larger, the size of the font just kept increasing.  Suddenly instead of less than a half-doGodzillazen easy to carry out items I was staring at a 480 pt., Comic Sans list of gargantuan proportions.  A film crew from Japan showed up halfway through its rampage across my mind and began shooting for a new “Godzilla vs. GigantorList”.

I struggle to find rest when there is stuff to do.  And when I feel stressed about the future, travel, work deadlines, finances or any number of things I may or may not be able to influence, I tend to take out my frustrations on my to-do list.

I jump in headlong and I. Do. Not. Stop.  Not until it’s done.

I’m learning that in a marriage relationship, how I handle stress has a direct impact on the well-being and peace of my wife.

When I turn to anything other than Christ and His finished work as a release for the pressures I feel, I make something beautiful into a back-alley transaction.  I get my fix; I bring order to my little world and push the stress, at least for a small time, out of my mind.  I feel in control and in doing so I tell the One who is ultimately in control that I don’t trust him.

And when I refuse His call, when I turn to anything other than His perfect presence and love, I turn the sounds of a symphony into the ringing of a dinner bell.  I find something that staves off the hunger for a short time instead of finding healing for my soul and rest for my body.

This season, I want to slow down, to enjoy the little things and the big things, to care about the big things and let the little things be little.  I want to be thankful.  I want to hug the ones I love and make sure they know I love them.  This season, I want to be thankful and in my thankfulness, realize again that He cares more than I know, more than I realize or understand, that He is in control and that I can trust Him.

Future of Forestry – Homeward:

Child I won’t let you go
We are homeward bound
Child I’ll sing till it’s clear
We are homeward
In my voice you will know
The sound of hope

 

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