Pocket Change

There are moments in life where it seems all my efforts and hard work can be boiled down to balancing spinning plates or juggling for pocket-change from passerby’s.

I should be saving more.

I should have read all the fine print.

I should be working out.

I’m not working hard enough.

Balls. Plates. Me.

Juggling, dancing, balancing, trying desperately to not let another plate drop.

Why am I so afraid of failing? Of the sound of a plate crashing to the floor? Am I still clinging to the foolish notion that somehow my efforts are what make me valuable?

Is that what life was meant to be like? Is that what God envisioned when He painted the first sunrise? 7 billion people running around trying to balance plates? Was that the dream in His heart?

Is it the dream in ours?

No one is born dreaming of TPS reports, P&L statements or business plans. We dreamed of being the hero, or being rescued by one. We dreamed of finding love and of changing the world. We dreamed of being someone. Of having stories to tell.

We dreamed of fulfilling our purpose on purpose.

But at some point, we stopped dreaming those dreams. We didn’t necessarily give up , we just allowed these dreams to be replaced. Now we wonder if we were we really designed to order our lives around being productive.

Do we really think He looks down from above and hopes we do not drop the ball? That His biggest dream for all humanity is that we get satisfactory marks on our yearly performance reviews?

Was that really what God thought when He carved the Grand Canyon?

Or when He created you?

Or is it possible that He dreams bigger dreams?

Is it possible that this God of love, who created us in love, created us to love?

Is it possible that the artist who paints the sky each morning an evening only to throw away the canvas and start afresh the next day is somehow challenging us to let a few plates drop? To not be so focused on performing and give ourselves permission to actually experience the life He wants for us? Is it possible that this eternally creative being challenges us to be creative?

Is it possible that the passion in your heart, the artistry, creativity, and the wonder that is you was placed there on purpose?

“Remember these things, O Jacob.
Take it seriously, Israel, that you’re my servant.
I made you, shaped you: You’re my servant.
O Israel, I’ll never forget you.
I’ve wiped the slate of all your wrongdoings.
There’s nothing left of your sins.
Come back to me, come back.
I’ve redeemed you.”
(Isaiah 44)