I Am Breaking Up With You

2019 begins in little more than 24 hours when I write this. 24 hours and 8 minutes to be exact.

A lot of people take the turning of the calendar as an opportunity to create lists of resolutions; things they want to change about themselves or things they want to accomplish.

I have never done that.

Two decades worth of new years as an adult and I honestly cannot recall ever having a resolution.

I just figured out why.

For me, a resolution is not worth the paper it is written on simply because “wanting” something never brings it about.

Wanting to lose weight does not shed pounds. Wanting to read more does not put a book in my hands. Wanting to have more friends does not make them available via Amazon Prime.

Wanting, for me, never solved anything. Because I never quit the core issue.

This year, I am no longer just wanting.

This year, I am breaking up with you.

Dear Fear – we are through. You have controlled too many of my choices for far too many years. I never want to see you again.

Self-Doubt – we are over. Move out. I am no longer going to listen to your voice.

Inadequacy – it feels like you have been around the longest. So, I may have to say this more than once.

So I will.

Get the hell out.

2019 is mine.

I will own who I become in 2019. Not you. Take fear and self-doubt and never come back.

I know you.

You will return.