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i dont think im gonna end up saying a whole lot this fair eve.
been thinkin a lot about trust.
trust and faith to be exact.
they are not pretty things. they’re painful. they’re painful and greedy.
they demand – like petty 3 year olds – all you have… and if you dont give it to them… they – just like the 3 year old – are not at fault for anything going wrong. they demand all with no physical guarentee on the return….
they arent the wings that enable you to fly… they’re the driving forces that push you off the cliff and into the freefall of the future.
and the thing is – parachutes aren’t allowed….
on a side note – someone named lisa posted to my blog a few days ago.
welcome lisa:-)
feel like tellin us more about yourself?
someone once said that feelings were important. and i must agree. simply due to the fact that we’re born with them.
take suffering for example…or pain – if you prefer that word. there isn’t a human who’s ever lived who hasn’t expierenced suffering. be it emotional, physical or any other form… everyone has -at one time or another- been well aquantied with pain.
Jesus Christ Himself… while walking on this earth.. submitted Himself so strongly to the will of His father that He learned pain… through watching the heartbreak over the death of lazarus.
and Christs Father – God. expierenced suffering more than we will ever…. how? simple really…
we talk so much about giving our all to Christ.. to walking out our faith… and we nearly idolize those who’ve gone before us and given all they had. look at the martyrs… the romans got their kicks off of feeding the early christians to lions… boiling them in oil… and dipping their heads in tar, tying them to a post and lighting their heads on fire…. for light.
but God Himself gave more than that….
dying for what we believe is easy. giving our lives? giving ourselves? nothing…absoluty nothin…
God didnt give Himself… He gave the most important thing to Him… He watched His own son die.
how about you? would you let your own brother die for what you believed? would you sit there and watch your parents get hacked apart by rebels… all because you didnt renounce the God you follow? would you watch your little sister be defiled all because of your belief in something greater than the both of you?
thats harder… thats surrender… that- in a nutshell- is what God did to His son to draw us to Him….
i can give everything i am… that isnt even an issue anymore. id gladly take a bullet and face death itself for the things i believe in. but what about my family? or my friends?…
im not exactly sure why this is all on my mind right now… but i guess its a good thing. i havent blogged this much in quite some time.
anyway… i guess the question of the nite – what was God feeling? its written that, even though God is Love, He could not stand to look at His son. He had to turn His head and look away from the one being that was as much Him, as He was.
so maybe surrender isnt submitting my own preferences or choices… maybe surrender is giving everything. not just yourself, but all that you have. all that you’ve been given… all that brings you joy… to the will of a God who let His own Son die…. for me.
they say that that – is love. they say that love isnt a feeling. they say love is stronger than death. and they say love is something we all need…..
i had a realization just a moment ago
2:18am Saturday… july 10.
ya know – its weird too… because its not something i didnt know. just something i never realized.
as a christian, ive been called to live a life that is utterly impossible. a life that i will fail at every single time i try. a life that all christians are called to live, and only one christian completed succesfully…..
i am nothing. and i have nothing to offer…
every attempt ive made resulted in utter failure…
and only two words sum up anything good ive done
in Him.
my life
my love
my all
is found
in Him.
i cant even remember hearing the song. but im in love with it already
20pts to the first person to tell me who sings this:
i’m a fly by night, i’m a dog by day
i’ve got a room full of beautiful memories
growing old and in the way
i got a heart that’s been broken over and over again
some by lovers, some by brothers, but most of all by my own dirty little hands
let me sit at your holy feet, let me count the hard cost
of what is right and what is wrong, of who is kind and who can only be the boss
let me lie awake and seek the truth from thy holy face
out of the holy mouth thundering forth out of the holy place
its what i did. when i read this.read it.
healing must start somewhere. if it doesnt. He isnt who He says He is….
my prayer for the nite –
i find peace when im confused
i find hope when im let down
not in me
but in You
in You
i hope to lose myself for good
i hope to find it in the end
not in me
in you
in you
Hope is not a feeling of happiness; it is an awful feeling that compels us to survive. It is the knowledge that we must fight back against adversity. It is the choice to breathe through water-filled lungs. It is the refusal to die.
nite everyone
and the winner of twenty points… goes to skip:-)
the song is called storm
the aritst is a lifehouse – before they were lifehouse….
but yeah
its great:-)
congrats skip!
20pts to the person who can place these lyrics
they’re my song for the nite.
enjoy
I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown,
so why am I ten feet under and upside down.
Barely surviving has become my purpose
’cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface.
If I could just see you everything would be alright.
If I had to see you the storminess would turn into light
and I will walk on water, and you will catch me if I fall,
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright, and everything will be alright.
nothin from my camp today….
but from the camp of a certain friend in chili – a friend who i learn a lot from. a friend… who once again, left me speechless with her words comes this statement.
so other than.. “thank you”, i will leave you tonite with this:
how can you trust if you have never been tested? the simple answer is you can’t..and i’m not speakin in religious metaphors, i’m talking about life. and you are experiencing the worst of it. (not that i have to explain that to you, at all.) but a comment on the trusting thing……….everything you have trusted is falling apart…..and you should be on your knees, etc…..but you know what………….don’t get on your knees if you’re not feelin it…….wait until your heart is sincere, and then, get on your knees…..there is a reason why they are saying it…………. remember that, and then maybe one day… you will say it to.
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 