FindingTheCourageToDream.com

We Belong

June 5, 2011 in Dreams, Endless Beauty, God, Hope, The Booklist, The Soundtrack, The Story | by Peej | Leave a comment

There is the joy of having someone save a place for us. We walk into a crowded room at church or at a dinner party and someone across the way waves us over, pointing to a chair he’s held on to especially for us. For a moment we feel a sense of relief, a taste of being on the inside.

Now consider Jesus’ words in John 14:2-“I am going . . . to prepare a place for you.”

Christ promises that he is saving a place in heaven especially for each of us. When we walk into the crowded excitement of the wedding feast of the Lamb, with the sound of a thousand conversations, laughter and music, the clinking of glasses, and one more time our heart leaps with the hope that we might be let into the sacred circle, we will not be disappointed. We’ll be welcomed to the table by our Lover himself. No one will have to scramble to find another chair, to make room for us at the end of the table, or rustle up a place setting. There will be a seat with our name on it, held open at Jesus’ command for us and no other.

John Eldredge
Sacred Romance

I’ve been on both ends of what John writes about. I’ve been welcomed to the inner circle, made to feel like I belong, and I carry the memories of being left out and excluded.

Tonight I am reminded that in this life, in this dance, in this journey to find beauty, we are not alone.

I know I’ve written before about this. About the wonder of the truth that we do not walk this road alone, but tonight I needed to be reminded of it. Tonight, I needed to refocus.

Tomorrow is Monday. Meetings, reports, projects, more meetings, deadlines and preparations for change. Tonight however, is the end of the sabbath, the end of our day of rest. And tonight, my heart yearns for His presence. For the rest, grace and joy that flows from time spent here, realizing, remembering, and reminding myself that I am not alone.

So if tomorrow doesn’t turn out the way we hope or if the changes that are in your future aren’t small, be reminded that this truth doesn’t change. We do not walk this road alone.

We belong.
We are His.

One Sonic Society – Just to be with You:

He Is Good

May 29, 2011 in Dreams, God, Romance, The Story | by Peej | 3 comments

Last week I participated in my first group dance lesson followed by my third individual lesson. For the most part, I’ve been so focused on getting things right that although I’ve had fun, I’ve not yet enjoyed dancing.

Last week that changed.

For the first time I was leading, and my dance instructor was allowing me to lead.

Don’t romanticize it, it wasn’t pretty. I’m not that good, yet.

But for those few moments, I tasted something. A part of my heart came alive.

My dance instructor made a comment that I’m still unpacking. She said,

“You’re leading. That’s good. That tells the woman you’re in control, you’re taking care of her and that she can enjoy herself.”

I was thrilled to have gotten the compliment. On the way home though, something told me I missed a deeper truth.

Life was meant to be lived beautifully. We were created for beauty, to find it, search for it and create it. And if dance is symbolic of life, of finding that beauty, of leading and being led, then how much beauty do we miss out on when we refuse to allow Him to lead?

If this woman, who I’ve only just met, could trust me enough to keep her safe on the dance floor, how much more can we trust the Author of our stories? How much more does His heart ache for us to let Him lead? How many times do I refuse His control, and try to do things on my own?

I was reminded of how much He loves us and how much He wants us to trust Him. And in that, if we allow ourselves to trust, we find life. We find the dance.

We find the beauty we’ve always known was there. And we taste and see, that He is good.

Mondays

May 16, 2011 in Dreams, Endless Beauty, God, Hope, Life, Love, The Soundtrack, The Story | by Peej | Leave a comment

Today was a Monday.

Not just Monday on the calendar, but one of those Mondays.

Today would have been a Monday if the calendar said it was Thursday.

And it was my fault, I didn’t start today as I should have.

It was going to be a busy day filled with important calls, meetings and deadlines. I had my first dance lesson scheduled for this evening. And my quiet time, the time that centers me, helps me find the path I should follow, and speaks peace into the situations I face, was all but glossed over this morning.

And Monday ensued.

I had things that to get done. And I got them done. Because I was so important.

I arrived early for the lesson.

In the parking lot I took a moment and reviewed the Groupon confirmation.

For Arthur Murray’s dance studio.

I was at Fred Astaire’s dance studio.

Monday.

Next Monday, things will be different. Because in that parking lot, I realized what I’d forgotten.

I was rescued from an eternity of Monday’s not to meet or attend meetings, to get things done or arrive early.

I was rescued to rescue.

Hillsong United – Aftermath

That is Why

May 7, 2011 in God, Hope, Life, Love, The Soundtrack, The Story | by Peej | 2 comments

Last Sunday was quickly drawing to a close and as it was one of the few remaining cool spring days we would see in the DFW metro area, I did what any coffee addicted adult does.

I went to Starbucks.

On the way, my car simply acted odd. When I pulled into the driveway I noticed an odd smell emanating from it. It wasn’t until after research online, reviewing the owner’s manual and some small panicking on my part did I realize it was most likely the cheaper gas I’d used.

It was just a car. But by the way I reacted, by the way my heart panicked, you’d think I’d forgotten to give a patient his medicine.

It was just a car, not life or death. So why the fear? Why the panicking?

Because I still stubbornly cling to the idea that I must perform. That this unfailing, unearned, unmerited, perfect love is something I must somehow be good enough for.

I never will be good enough. That is why it’s called grace.

Even if the odd smell is something worse than cheap gas, even if it’s something worse than just a car, even if I fail, that Love will still be there.

In the midst of the storm, and surrounded by a lot of unknowns, I cling to this.

I don’t have to earn it.

I will never have to earn it.

I cannot earn it.

I am loved perfectly.

There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to Him than birds. –Matthew 6:26

Brooke Fraser – Flags

Greater than My Own

April 23, 2011 in Dreams, Endless Beauty, God, Hope, Life, Love, Romance, The Story | by Peej | Leave a comment

If we are honest with ourselves, we all want our stories to reflect one thing, hope. We want our lives to show an unending belief in the fact that life is worth living. We want our history to be a testament of overcoming, of victory.

We want to live on the mountaintop. And we ignore the valley.

Too many of us have bought into that lie, into the stories of endless mountaintop moments, of perfect lives flying above the storms. Too many of us believe that if we were just good enough, we would finally find completion, we would know hope because we would know what we were hoping for.

That isn’t real life.

Last weekend I stumbled across a stack of old postcards lying scattered in a box in the back of an antique shop. As I thumbed through them looking for artwork that would catch my eye, something else made me pause and start over. I began to read the letters, the messages on the back of the cards. There were more than thirty, each dated from the early 1940s. And each one penned by Private Divis, opened with Darling or Dear Sweetheart and was sent to a Ms. Jennie nee Garnik of Chicago, Illinois.

They were love letters, letters of hope.

Sometime in 1944 they were married. They stayed married, to each other, up until Mrs. Jennie Divis’ death in 2007.

Sixty three years of marriage.

I would love to believe that once they were married, they hopped from one mountain peak to another, each more beautiful than the last. But real life tells me that in sixty-three years of marriage, they faced hardship, pain, and the loneliness of the valleys. I would like to tell myself that the young love I heard whispered between the words of each post card carried them through those years, kids, careers and life with a sense of ease, but I know differently.

And so do you.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, Christianity pauses to remember a moment in time that rewrote our stories. And again, I am tempted to paint this memory, this remembrance with the quiet pastels that permeate this season. But in doing so, the bloody reality of what took place over 2000 years ago is lost. Tomorrow isn’t about bunnies, ducklings and little baby chicks. Tomorrow isn’t just the celebration of life, but of a life lived in sacrificial love. A life lived perfectly, because we were imperfect.

Tomorrow, we remember the death of a Saviour and mans first taste of salvation.

Tomorrow we will read the first of many love letters written to you and I more than a millenia ago.

Promises

And as I sat there and read those postcards, and as I read the story we celebrate tomorrow, I hear the same message. We were never promised lives full of mountain peaks and empty of valleys. We were promised however, that we would never walk this path alone.

We were never promised a life void of pain and heartache, but we were promised that if we followed this Saviour who lived perfectly and died in our stead, we would find our true life, real life, abundant life.

I am following Him, Christ. Because more than anything, that is the life I want. I want to know that one random Saturday in the year 2074, someone will be walking through an antique shop and will find my postcards, love letters, letters of hope to my future wife.

And I pray that they will reflect a hope greater that my own. Not because my story was one filled with the pinnacles of life, but because I have found the life, the One I was hoping for. I found abundant life.

Was and Is

April 14, 2011 in Endless Beauty, Friends, God, Hope, Life, Love, The Soundtrack, The Story | by Peej | Leave a comment

Earlier this week I received an email from a friend that shook me.

We’ve known each other for years and simply fell out of touch. We only reconnected a few weeks ago and as I read her email, my heart broke.

Although I glimpsed only a shadow of what she had fought through, the pain and heartache she endured, I could see clearly that something had changed. There was something new, something that didn’t exist the last time she and I talked.

There was deep hope.

There was this rare, amazing beauty.

There was a strength in her words, tempered steel behind her eyes and in her voice, and a profound confidence in her heart and her God that was beautiful, matchless, and radiant.

And in that, I began to hear the echoes of an ageless truth.

God restores.

As I read and reread the email, I could see it. I could see restoration was there, healing was there. Through the pain and the hell she fought through, the plan was always restoration. Restoration of her heart, of her life and the life of her son.

I will always question why we have to face the battles we do, why horrible things happen to amazing people and why God sometimes seems so distant. But in each battle and in spite of the many questions, I am beginning to see the same truth. The heart of a Father, her Father broken far beyond anything I could ever understand. And through the breaking of His heart, love flows.

A perfect love from a perfect God loving an imperfect person perfectly.

And in that love, restoration. The plan was and is always restoration.

Hillsong United – Take Heart

We Are The Ones

March 30, 2011 in God, Hope, Life, Love, The Booklist, The Soundtrack, The Story | by Peej | Leave a comment

Our God Reigns by Delirious just started and I’m stuck, unmoving beyond today’s devotional from John Eldredge:

Every woman is in some way searching for or running from her beauty and every man is looking for or avoiding his strength. Why? In some deep place within, we remember what we were made to be, we carry with us the memory of gods, image-bearers walking in the Garden. So why do we flee our essence? As hard as it may be for us to see our sin, it is far harder still for us to remember our glory. The pain of the memory of our former glory is so excruciating, we would rather stay in the pigsty than return to our true home. We are like Gomer, wife of the prophet Hosea, who preferred to live in an adulterous affair rather than be restored to her true love.

We are the ones to be Fought Over, Captured and Rescued, Pursued. It seems remarkable, incredible, too good to be true. There really is something desirable within me, something the King of the universe has moved heaven and earth to get….

If your heart skipped a beat, if your soul ached when you read Johns devotional, then you are like me. You know there is more. And whether you are running away from your strength or beauty or towards it, you know it is there.

Could it be that we carry in our hearts the essence of our Creator? Is it possible that as creation, something of beauty exists inside of us?

We are the ones to be fought over. You and I. Prized so much, valued so highly, worth enough to be fought for and over, precious enough to be pursued. You and I, our hearts are valued, valuable, worthy of love. And if they are worthy of love then they must be capable of loving in ways we’ve not yet understood.

So go forward, run after your strength, your beauty. Stumble towards the you that you can be, that you need to be. Learn about your heart, this amazing love, and never be the same.

Detours

March 25, 2011 in Hope, Life, Love, The Story | by Peej | Leave a comment

I sat in traffic Tuesday for a sum total of 2 hours and 20 minutes. That’s a lot of time to think. Especially when you’re sitting at one particularly slow intersection for more than 10 minutes.

I could have gotten frustrated at the situation, at the driver next to me who didn’t understand that “right turn only” meant, turn right. I could have gotten upset at the fact that he then proceeded to cut me off, only to go under the speed limit. I had to fight hard against anger when I realized that Google maps wasn’t correct, and the road I wanted didn’t continue under the highway, but stopped short and started again on the other side.

I sat, and fumed.

Somewhere between 2 and 4 mph, I realized something. I realized that I seem to expect traffic to be light, other drivers to pay attention, lights to turn in my favor and an easiness to accompany me on each trip. When I get in my car my understanding of life disappears, and I expect everything to flow smoothly. I expect ease, when I don’t see it in my life.

Sitting, unmoving, surrounded by hundreds of other commuters all trying to get home, it hit me.

Sometimes in life I’m victorious on the wings of eagles. Sometimes I’m winning, on top of the world and unable to fall. Sometimes you hop on the highway and cruise home like traffic didn’t exist. Other times, you wonder why you got out of bed. Other times, you mess up at work, you offend a loved one. You, I…. fail.

As I sat there, waiting for my turn at the intersection, I understood. This is life.

It is imperfect. I am imperfect. We fall into the trap of thinking that we can control the traffic, and when we realize we cannot, we get frustrated. The crazy thing is, we try it all over again the next day. We think we can make things perfect, and we never will.

Life hasn’t been easy, and we were never promised it would be. Sometimes we will need to fight, to push through the chaos surrounding us, trust the One who is writing the story we’re in, and keep going. Yes, sometimes the road is wide open before us, the sun is shining and all is well in the world. Other times though the road is hard, painful and bathed in tears.

Yes, at times we may look like idiots. We may have to back-up the wrong way down a one-way, we may have to change lanes at the last minute, or jump a curb. We may not always get to chose the roads we’re on, the detours we’re forced to take or the chaos we may have to fight through. But we are promised we do not walk this path alone. And we are promised that we will find things worthy of fighting for. And we were promised, that eventually, we would make it home.

full with the promise

March 6, 2011 in Endless Beauty, God, Hope, Life, Love, Romance, The Booklist, The Soundtrack, The Story | by Peej | 3 comments

ive been thinking lately, about being thankful.

for the things i have, and in some ways, for the things i dont have.

so many of my friends, people my age, have already settled down. they have a wife, kid(s), dog. they’re already rockin’ the white picket fence american dream. and while part of me wants that, yearns for the evident completeness they’ve found, part of me hungers for something more.

john eldredge describes that unsettledness, that desire for something more as the call of God for us to follow Him. john says “According to the part of the story God has allowed us to see, the Haunting we sense is His calling us forth on a journey.”

i wont begin to pretend i know what this journey is or where it will lead. but i am realizing that it’s not something i’m waiting to start. it’s something i have already begun. and thats something you need to realize too.

this, right here, this moment in time, is part of journey.

st. augustine said that the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.

you are already on your journey. as am i.

and im suddenly realizing that part of me was waiting for something to happen. for someone to come along and give me permission to live life, to chase after my dreams.

i was waiting for something that will never happen.

and if this is true, that right now, im living my story…. if its true that the first pages have been turned, and that the book is already dog-eared, then i need to do everything i can, right now, to live life fully. to explore, fight, become a better me.

i need to learn to love. to walk through the fires before me. to face fears, to dance. i need to learn not just to tread water, but sail.

i need to learn to be thankful for where i am and for where i am going.

yes, eventually, i want what my friends have. i want to look into the eyes of my beloved, my betrothed, my bride, my (eve) and see our stories intertwining as one. i want to see our futures, together. i want to see hope, abundant life, and love ive not known reflected back in those eyes.

i want to see two books, two stories, two, becoming one.

and even if on the horizon of our future lie gray skies full with the promise of storms, i will look forward to the rain, to the thunder, to the tempest. because one day, i wont be sailing alone.

hillsong united – aftermath

and live

February 22, 2011 in God, Life, Romance, The Booklist, The Soundtrack | by Peej | Leave a comment

what would you do, how differently would you look at life, would you live life if you knew that your heart was the treasure of the kingdom?

thats the question ive been struggling with.

the bible is rather clear about the value of our hearts. Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts proclaims proverbs 4.

all too often, when i read the bible, or when its preached, its done so with a word of caution. a warning. something to heed. it’s almost like we take every verse as a stern thou shalt not! and when we read about this God of abundant life, it never makes sense. we never see it. it never comes to fruition. so we chalk it up to something we have to trudge through ‘by faith’, and we give up on that beautiful life we were meant to live.

but what if that verse wasnt a warning. what if that verse wasnt meant to chastise or correct? but to tell us, show us the value of our hearts? what if the intent was to show us where that abundant life starts?

john eldredge in waking the dead says: “caring for our own hearts isnt selfishness; it’s how we begin to love.

yes, we care for our hearts for the sake of others. does that sound like a contradiction? not at all. what will you bring to others if your heart is empty, dried up, pinned down? love is the point. and you cant love without your heart, and you cant love well unless your heart is well.

when it comes to the whole subject of loving others, you must know this: how you handle your own heart is how you will handle theirs.

and

“what more can be said, what greater case could be made than this: to find God, you must look with all your heart. to remain present to God, you must remain present to your heart. to hear His voice, you must listen with your heart. to love Him, you must love with all your heart. you cannot be the person God meant you to be, and you cannot live the life He meant you to live, unless you live from the heart.”

wow.

what if that verse wasnt meant as a warning? but as a promise? as a road sign? what if its there to tell us that the abundant life He promised, is available? and that its tied to the dreams that were etched on our hearts before we were born?

what if that life is out there? if only we’d take care of our hearts? would i realize that the life i want to see is there? inside of me? and that if i cared for my heart, listened to it, lived from it, that this life would flow out? that id see my dreams come true? would you?

would you realize that life is there? inside of you? etched into your heart by the perfect One? would you realize that there is a reason your heart beats for antiques? or art? or music? or engineering? or dancing? or fashion? or photography? or woodworking?

what if we didnt give up on our dreams? but instead chose to dust them off, pry open the pages of stories long since forgotten and begin to read, again, the words that are etched on our hearts? what then?

what would our lives look like? how would life be different? how much more abundant would life be, if i honestly believed that my heart was a treasure? that abundant life was out there, was available for me?

would it be real? would this abundant life be real? would you see it if you looked at me?

i dont have the answers. but i’m going to challenge myself to find out.

because i believe there is a bigger story out there, bigger than im living. and these echoes we heart in our hearts, the yearning for something more, the ache deep inside that tells us we are not yet complete, they are all telling us that there is more. that we were destined for more. and that our path to this life, begins within our hearts.

your heart was created. by the Creator. with purpose and beauty. a destiny all its own. and you will only find that destiny, that fullness, by following the calling placed on your Heart by the one who traded His life for yours.

so follow Him. find your heart. and live from it.

future of forestry – sanctitatis