i know i probably should be mature enough to not be surprised by this….
i know ive probably learned enough about this thing we call “life” to be aware enough to not be caught off guard…
i know i shouldnt be sitting in stunned silence…
i know… but i still am.

i sit here. blown away, bewildered, convuluted, stunned into silence….
my life has changed… again. all over again. in a moment.
in a moment my day went from ‘ok’… to ‘oh my god’.

…an excerpt from Hinds Feet on High Places….

“…she had been down into egypt and had looked upon the grinding-stones, the wheel, and the furnace, and knew that they symbolized an expierence which she herself must pass through. Somehow, incredible as it was, she, Much-Afraid, had been enabled to accept the knowledge and to acquiesce in it, and she knew within herself that with that acceptance a gulf had opened between herself and her past life, even between her past self; a gulf which could never again be closed….”

for weeks now ive had this sense, that “it” wasn’t done yet, that the burning wreckage of my ‘family unit’ hadn’t crashed landed yet. and, i was right. it seems that before it slams permanently into the earth, it may have some flammable cargo still waiting to explode. today, something huge blew up. and whats worse, the repercussions haven’t even been felt. yet.

welcome – to the begining of the end….