even though i didnt do the research, i have a feeling i had a post from last year with a title very close to that. hmm, ill have to do some digging.

anyway…. it is official by the way. i wont be heading down to texas for Christmas this year. the money for the plane ticket is readily available. the time off was all lined up… but when your mom and sis work in retail… guess what bucko, there is no way they’re getting the week after Christmas off…. so ill be headin down in mid-late jan.

i was all set and ready to launch into how crappy that was gonna be… not having seen my mom for more than a year. and how much it sucks to have spent yesterday and today cooped up indoors with a massive chest cold. or to be what was probably one of the few caring voices… and probably the only voice from immediate family, that my dad heard today….

i was going to launch into how i havent really allowed myself to enter into the whole “holiday/christmas/thanksgiving” spirit. maybe its because ive not yet allowed myself to digest the fact that i wont be home for christmas this year. maybe its because my mom seems to be takin it just a little harder that i had hoped. maybe its just cuz life can sometimes suck.

i wanted to… i wanted to go ballistic and wear my heart on my sleeve and maybe even cry while i pounded out the pages of my heart onto the web for all to see….

i wanted to, but i couldnt…. for you see… once upon a coughing, hacking, stuffy nose, achy, sneeze trip to wegmans on a rainy thanksgiving day in 2003… i saw something that changed my outlook.

i was waiting with the groceries while someone went and got the car… and as with any major supermarket on thanksgiving day, i was doing my best to dodge harried shoppers with long lists, or overladen shopping carts. but something stopped me.

slowly moving through the parking lot with a glaringly few items in the shopping cart… graying hair… almost white… slight in stature… and with eyes that belayed much more sorrow than my eyes have seen… was an elderly woman. her stature, her pacing, every little thing about her screamed that she was spending thanksgiving day alone.

and i realized at that moment something thats been unfolding to me all day. i have a tremendous amout to be thankful for this year.

heidi – simply, you’re my life saver. my bestest friend ever. id be lost, and much sicker, without you. i am thankful… for you.

k8 – in a world of very few noble people – you’re my hero. i am thankful… for you.

val – you’re what i would apsire to become if i was a 20something black woman. i am thankful… for you.

courtney – you’re what pen pals are supposed to be made of, and what women of God should aspire to be like. i am thankful… for you.

and the list goes on. unlike that lady, i have a family. albeit messed up, ive still got em all. ive got an apartment. and clothes on my back. and ive got friends who would give up there entire thanksgiving day to stay with a sick pip.

come to think of it guys… bill gates, and all his billions… has nothing on what ive been given.

so to each of you, wether you read my blog often, or just random acrossed me…

i am thankful for you.

and finally…

i will be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.

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