its funny how its the little things in life that we sometimes take for granted that catch us the most by surprise. take for instance the walmart parking lot. its where i found myself today… and in a moment of looking in my rearview mirror as opposed to my sideview mirror, a white pickup and i met in a rather unwanted way. simple fender bender. he was backing out of his space the same time i was backing out of mine…

but in a moment, how much my car means to me became abundantly clear. all the way home, my heart hurt. i felt i had failed. i had let “someone” down. maybe i left myself down… im not sure.

but all night tonight ive been fending off this sense of failure. hopeless failure.

ive known for a long time that i tend to cling to things i can “control” for stability. what else would you call someone who treats his car like a girlfriend… im very deliberate in a lot of things i do. and im learning it all has to do with control.

all i wanted to do was apologize… inside i was begging for someone to tell me everything would be ok. and on the outside, i was telling myself that the only thing that needs to be repaired on the car is the plastic lighting housing.

makes a ton of sense right? yeah… thats what i thought.

i leave you with this.

You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i’m asking to taste…

for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace…

for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

be near
shane barnard

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