life is passing me by and i havent the slightest idea when i hopped off the boat. it just happened. its not two ships passing in the dark… im on the pier, and im waving as the ship leaves.
when and how did this happen?
everyone has their lives. their dreams. their jobs and plans and futures and things to do.
i did this on new years. and this weekend im doing such and such with so and so.
everyone has their plans. their goals. their lives to get living.
i came down here to be closer to the family. i know that. and i am. and im happy. i really am.
im just…. lost.
up in new york, i had connections. i was in the crowd that was in to what i enjoyed. i loved working at bethel. running sound. its been 9 months since i last stood behind a sound board. 9 months.
what on earth am i doing?
its like i was so busy doing something that im sure was very important on the docks… i look up to see the boat has shoved off and is steaming out into the rest of LIFE… and im just sitting here. on the docks. with the seagulls. and the weird lady in the 17 layers of clothes who talks to invisible people and feeds the birds.
what on earth am i doing with the rest of my life?
all this time he’s never been awake before
at thirty-one his whole world is a question mark
all this time he’s never been awake before
watching dreams that he once had
feed the flame inside his head
in quiet desperation of the emptieness he says….
there’s got to be something more than what im living for
im crying out to You
augustine. all his fears keep falling out
all this time he’s never been awake before
all this time he’s never been awake before
but he’s mad to be alive
and he’s dying to be met
in a quiet desperation of the emptieness he says
there’s got to be more that what im living for
im crying out to You
hey, i give it all away
nothing i was holding back remains
hey, i give it all away
looking for the Grace of God today….
3 comments
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January 9, 2005 at 9:44 pm
Anonymous
I was searching for something on the internet, though now I don’t remember what, and stumbled onto your blog. the title intrigued me.
This is so really random. I NEVER do this, but sometimes i guess those little God things happen:)
I don’t know what you do but you are a great writer. you say things in the best way that it’s like, “oh yeah, that’s it!”
keep it up please!
God bless you:)
January 9, 2005 at 11:22 pm
April
Me too.
January 22, 2005 at 2:33 pm
Chris
Hey pip, how’s it goin? This is sorta weird, but oh well…I was browsing through some of your past posts, and ran across your quote for 2003..
“the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. be brave. live. for Me”
…anyway, just wanted to let you know that i’ve decided to make that my goal this year! It’s amazing how when i read your posts, its like your inside of my head! we do have alot in common, not only the struggles and stuff, but also the passion for running sound (or church media)…ok i’m sure that i’ve wasted more than enough of your time!
prayers and blessings
chris–>