life is passing me by and i havent the slightest idea when i hopped off the boat. it just happened. its not two ships passing in the dark… im on the pier, and im waving as the ship leaves.

when and how did this happen?

everyone has their lives. their dreams. their jobs and plans and futures and things to do.

i did this on new years. and this weekend im doing such and such with so and so.

everyone has their plans. their goals. their lives to get living.

i came down here to be closer to the family. i know that. and i am. and im happy. i really am.

im just…. lost.

up in new york, i had connections. i was in the crowd that was in to what i enjoyed. i loved working at bethel. running sound. its been 9 months since i last stood behind a sound board. 9 months.

what on earth am i doing?

its like i was so busy doing something that im sure was very important on the docks… i look up to see the boat has shoved off and is steaming out into the rest of LIFE… and im just sitting here. on the docks. with the seagulls. and the weird lady in the 17 layers of clothes who talks to invisible people and feeds the birds.

what on earth am i doing with the rest of my life?

augistine just woke up with a broken heart
all this time he’s never been awake before

at thirty-one his whole world is a question mark
all this time he’s never been awake before

watching dreams that he once had
feed the flame inside his head
in quiet desperation of the emptieness he says….

there’s got to be something more than what im living for
im crying out to You

augustine. all his fears keep falling out
all this time he’s never been awake before

finding now his old dreams aren’t panning out
all this time he’s never been awake before

but he’s mad to be alive
and he’s dying to be met
in a quiet desperation of the emptieness he says

there’s got to be more that what im living for
im crying out to You

hey, i give it all away
nothing i was holding back remains
hey, i give it all away
looking for the Grace of God today….

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