so i finished reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.

and it talks so much about christian men who live passionless lives. lives devoid of fire. lives devoid of righteous anger. lives devoid of a reason for waking up in the morning.

they’re good guys. very good guys. they’re the guys who treat women with respect. they open doors. they dont look at porn. they make a good living to provide for their wife and 2.3 kids. they tithe. and they are utterly dead inside.

the do not live. they simply exist.

and for the past few months thats how ive felt. im trapped. my passions for so many things, sound. youth. worship… everything that used to make me me isnt accessible down here.

and that needs to change. because life sucks when you just exist. im not sure how, im not sure what it will take but it needs to change. because i REFUSE to live a mediocre life…. screw the status quo. id rather die than live a passionless life.

life is meant to be lived.

I am a part of the “Fellowship of the Unashamed”. I have Holy Spirit power. The die is cast. I’ve stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of His. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, live by prayer and labor by power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is tough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted or delayed. I will not flinch in the face or sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of my enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up or slow up ’til I’ve preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go ’til He comes, give ’til I drop, preach ’til all know and work ’til He stops.

And when He comes to get His own, He’ll have no problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear.

(thanks mateo)

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