i came back from florida (AWESOME time) less than a week ago. and i will be travelling internationally for work on tuesday. i’ll be in london ontario for anywhere from 2-6 weeks:)
yeah. im exhausted. and scared.
i want so much for the changes that began in me to continue. to grow. to come to the place of completion in every area of my life. i want a new heart. i want a soft heart. i want a heart that cries when He cries, sees what He sees and loves the way He loves.
ill admit it, i have no clue how to be the man i’ve been called to be. there is no handbook for a 20something male without a father. there isnt. it doesnt exist. and for so long i used that as an excuse. something to hide behind instead of something to overcome. well, this is me. i do not know what the next step is. and i have absolutely no idea what the final product is going to look like. and honestly, i am not even sure of the ultimate goal.
but i am going to fight with all i am to find out.
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
-mary anne radmacher
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 
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July 22, 2006 at 3:16 pm
April
Recently I discovered that I was missing a very important handbook for my life as well. I had come upon one such book before and had been well acquainted with its input. But just as every other book has found the pile beside my bed, it too found a comfy place to collect dust and call my name during quick glances in its general direction. But this hunger has been growing, this great need for direction, for hope, for life outside of the walls I am touching. I came upon this handbook and its words are working…I think you know it as well…pick it up…it is truly the best handbook ever written…it breathes redemption and makes crooked places straight. Lots of love.
July 22, 2006 at 4:43 pm
kate
i realize most of the post is about the struggles you’re dealing with…
but i just want to point out (as a segway) that sometimes it is best to hash out life with a close friend and that helps us determine our goals, or at least makes life a little clearer.
and i just want to remind you, you’re going to be nearby enough that i’m FINALLY GOING TO GET TO SEE YOU AFTER 5 YEARS OF NOT!! for goodness sake, i’m ECSTATIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just sayin’.
i love you.