there are times in our lives when we are dealt more emotions than we know how to handle. than we know what to do with or are capable of understanding and working through. its during those times when i find myself writing the most. and posting the least.

there is beauty to be found in the hardest times in life. a beauty that is unnoticed, unacknowledged any other time.

this beauty is found in times of loss. of realizing that this world and all it contains, is infinitely larger than we are. its beauty found only in the realization that we’re not in control. and that no matter how hard we try, or how good we are, we never will be in control.

there is a beauty here, an amazing grace to be found, a glistening newness that comes when we; with tears streaming down our face drop to our knees and whisper our surrender. our acknowledgement that we cannot do this. that we are not in control and that we will never be good enough.

the thing is, its only when we’ve seen this in our own lives, when we’ve dropped to our knees and surrendered… that we are given the gift of seeing it in the lives of others.
im realizing that its in those moments of surrender that we find the strands of real life. you may find these moments during a quiet night on the beach, or in the glaring reality of losing someone you loved. you may see this depth in someone you know, and see it in the for the first time… or you may recognize it in the eyes of a complete stranger.

whatever you do, wherever you see it, in your own life or in the eyes of someone else; embrace it. love it.

i must believe that life is worth living, that those moments of painful surrender bring true life. and i want that. so badly.