i sit here tonight, not fully knowing exactly what im feeling. or for that matter, exactly what ill end up saying. i sit here tonight, seeking. seeking hope. vision. a dream.

words are echoing inside of my soul. words to a song ive not thought of for some time. words that question. words that bring light. words that drag the questions that were hiding in the corners of my soul into the harsh light of reality.

i sit here tonight, questioning. is the vision lost? or has it been past on? is there any use continuing?

i sit here tonight, and i know ive not yet allowed myself the time to deal. the time to think. ive not slowed enough to realize that life is changing, drastically, soon. and that sooner than i want, decisions will have to be made

in the midst of this, that quiet voice whispered to me. it reminded me of a time when i was passionate.

i want that fire, that vision, that knowing of your dreams to be alive in my life. i want it back. and its not. not yet.

i sit here tonight and im almost trembling because i know that i am feeling disjointed, incomplete, missing a part of me.  i like positing when i know i can draw things to a close, when i can leave you (and myself) with a feeling of hope.  with a direction, with a reminder that there is a reason to keep going.

there is.  there is a reason to keep going.  but i cannot end there.  not tonight.  because tonight, i am incomplete.  this, is incomplete.  my life, right now, is incomplete.

so im going to leave you, with this song.

his faithfulness, my hope
it brings comfort to my soul
with a still small voice whispering,
“call upon my name and i
will set you up on high
be still and know that i am God

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