i just came from seeing the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

and i cannot give up. if anything, thats what i walked away from. i dont care if it kills me to find it, there is something worth fighting for.

i was chosen to walk this path. to live, here, now. and i dont know why. because it all honesty, it hurts. but ive come to far. ive followed this path for too long. going back isnt whats next. its not.

there is someone. out there. who i was supposed to meet. to fall for. and to spend the rest of my life with. and i cannot promise a ton, but i promise to love you with every fiber of who i am. i promise to apologize when im wrong. i promise to puruse, and to fight for you. and i pray to be humble enough to be the man i need to be.

and although i feel so out of place, so much like im searching for that place to call home….

im going to cry out. and hope and pray that my heavenly father hears me. because i cannot do this anymore. not alone. not like this. i dont want to be alone.

i’m crying out… and im not going to give up. please, show me the way. show me the path. show me where i fit, where i can find home.

not every post leaves me in tears, but this one did.  because i dont know how else to say it.  i need You.

This Is Home
-Switchfoot

I’ve got my memories
They’re always
Inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was
I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I’ve never known

Chorus:
This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back
Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It’s not over yet
We are miracles
And we’re not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it home

(Chorus)

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I’ve come too far
Now I won’t go back
This is home