i sat this evening in front of the fire, Mickey’s Christmas Carol on the television, and as much as i wanted to be there, i wasnt.  my mind wouldnt quiet.  I love Mickey’s Christmas Carol, I love Christmas with the whole family under one roof even more, but even through all of that i kept noticing things.

the fire in the fireplace, two very large pecan logs.  and id fought with it on and off all evening.  it would flare up and fade out.  i would go over and blow on it, it would flare up and fade out.  lather, rinse, repeat.

we finally got it going.  the logs were positioned incorrectly.  they needed to be moved, repositioned.  they needed to fit together differently.  and that got me thinking.  about how this is the last Christmas i’ll celebrate in my 20’s.  about how many more Christmases we’ll actually celebrate under one roof.  about how i hope next Christmas has all four of us under the same roof, plus some new members of the family:-).

it got me thinking about my positioning, and where i might need to change.

the two logs were in the proper place, they were the proper method to use to build a fire, but no matter how hard i tried, no matter how much kindling, or oxygen i could give the fire, it wouldnt catch.  because the logs weren’t positioned properly.  they were too close together.

too close, and they smother each other.  too far apart and the fire, the heat dies.  but positioned properly, and the fire burns for hours.

i’m reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller.  In it he makes the observation that we live so many of our days not pursuing what we actually want.  we get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner and spend the evening in front of the television.

we live, spend, invest enormous amounts of time not pursuing what we truly want, what our dreams call for.

so as 2009 draws to a close and 2010 begins fresh, clean and new, as this decade moves from present to past, and as i look at ’30’ closer and closer each day, my hearts prayer  is that i would be in the proper place, at the right time, and positioned in the right way to be a light and encouragement.  to fulfill the destiny that i was called for.  to live each day with purpose, with the knowing that i only get that chance, to make that day count.

i may stumble, i may even fall flat on my face at times…

but i will fall forward.