i think, if we’re honest with ourselves, we would say we were each left with questions.  we would nod our heads and agree that we could each remember a time when those who came before us, who were supposed to build us up, show us the ropes, explain how to work this thing called life, those people, dropped the ball.

i think we were all left with questions.

we’d knock our glasses together, give each other looks that say ‘we understand’ and drink to the fact that we all have life experiences that echo the same questions.

we’d pat shoulders, and give hugs.  we’d be there for each other and support each other through the act of simple remembrance.  remembering when we first asked these questions, when we first lived through these experiences of not knowing.  of waking up every morning and questioning if we have what it takes.  if we have what it takes to be the man or woman we want to see staring back at us in the mirror.  if we can be successful.  if we’re intelligent, smart, handsome or beautiful.

i think we all have our own questions.  as much as it’s a shared experience, the questions are very personal.  and the ones you may struggle with, i may not.  but as diverse, personal and individual the questions are, i believe if we peeled away the layers, if we looked deeper, we would all come to the place where at the heart of the issue, beats one question.

am i worthy?

and the sad thing, is that most of us will live our entire lives avoiding the answers.   we’ll live our lives so shallow, drowning in the circumstantial, that the questions will never get faced.  we will never allow ourselves to face the pain that those questions left us with.

maybe the question was first given to you by an experience in your childhood.  maybe it was a heartbreak in your teen years, or the abandonment of someone close.  maybe it was innocence that was stripped away.  maybe it was as simple as someone important not taking the time to show you what they were supposed to show you.

however the questions present themselves, if you’re like me, this is the question you’ve realized you’ve been asking all this time.  am i worthy?  am i worth it?

am i worth the love of a woman?

the love of a Saviour?

will i live my life avoiding the answers?  will i whitewash the walls?  will i constrain myself to live in shallow tidal pools all the while dreaming of distant shorelines?  or will i ask the only question that actually matters?

will i ask to be written into the great story?  will i ask to be written into the song of grace?  the song that started millenia ago and  that is being woven together even today?

inside of that story, the questions that haunt us find their answers.  the wounds we carry, find healing.  and our scars, become medals.  in that story, in that great overarching story written by an Author far beyond our comprehension, we find grace, we find beauty, we find we are beautiful, and we find freedom.

in that story, its not that the question gets answered.  it’s that we realize, that it never really mattered.

one sonic society – burn

Advertisements