if you’re anything like me, the word “whole” wouldn’t be one you would use to describe yourself.  not your real self.  not the you that you don’t let others see.  the you that you are when you’re alone.  the you that only the closest friends know is there, that you probably wouldn’t be associated with the word “whole”.

more than likely that you is damaged.  broken.  scarred.  and if you’re like most people you’re afraid to actually let that you, be seen.  you worry it’s unlovable.  ugly.  lacking in anything good or beautiful.

you’ve bought into the belief that that you, isnt valuable.

all you see are the scars, the stains of past mistakes, the brokenness and missing pieces.

and the holidays, are especially hard.  surrounded by family.  by friends who seem to have it all together, you wonder if you’ll ever get to a place where you can breathe easy.  where you dont walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop.  for someone to lift your shoddily constructed facade and see the real, broken you, that hides underneath.

i’m realizing that this world was never designed to function in brokenness.  that we were never meant to live our lives putting on masks, hiding our real selves.  not when every stain is an opportunity for redemption.  or when every broken piece, a chance for restoration.  not when every unlovable part, was covered by unconditional love.  and not when One can see through the facade, and love the real you.

Christ’s love makes the church whole.
(eph 5:26)


His love.  makes the church, me, whole.

it’s not instant.  i know that.  my story is a testament to that.  it’s a process.  but as we chose to uncover each peace of the real us, that process begins.

He sees you.  just as you are.  broken, stained.  pieces missing, ugly and unlovable.  and He loves you.

i know.  because He loves me too.

future of forestry – the earth stood still:  

a teenage girl and her soon-to-be
a simple trip far as they could see
the sky was clear and the hour serene
but did they know what the night would bring?

lonely hearts strewn across the land
they’d been waiting long for a healing hand
my heart was there and i felt the chill
when Love came down and the earth stood still
when Love came down and the earth stood still

shepherds stood under starry skies
tasting grace that would change their lives
the angels trembled and the demons did too
for they knew very well what pure grace would do

the hope of the world in a baby boy
i remember him well like i was there that night
my heart was there and i felt the chill
when Love came down and the earth stood still