i know ive probably blogged more the past 48 hours than in any period in the past 48 months.

im just not sure what im feeling inside. and its scary not knowing.
—song of the nite—

there is a light that shines upon us. there is a heaven.
thats where im longing to be.
would you please come talk to me.

there is a darkness that falls upon us.
there is a blindness that makes me hunger for you.
will you lead me through?

summer of love
so ful of pain
summer of love
was God to blame

There is a song I have been singing
It brings the healing that’s what I’m longing to see
Would you please come fall on me

You probably know that I love a savior
His name is Jesus, and I am living to be
Just a faithful one to thee

summer of love
so full of pain
summer of love
was God to blame

summer of love
so full of pain
summer of love
God knows your name

—-end of song—-

why exactly the little boy inside of me is so scared right now i dont know. ive never been more unsure of so many things. and yet, ive never been so sure of one thing… change.

its coming. and i dont know how.

im standing on the edge of the unknown and im waiting for the other shoe to drop.

maybe im just crying out again for closure. maybe im searching for love. maybe im crying out for answers to the questions that refuse to go away.

maybe im just simply asking for the measure of courage neccessary to walk out this road. ive said it before, but i feel it more so each day. the end is coming. im not sure how, or what exactly this all means….

maybe its not so much the questions that im asking that matters… maybe its the ones that He’s asking me.

am i ready? am i prepared for the end? would i be ready if the command to ‘go’ was issued tomorrow?

i dont know…

but my heart burns for this….

Lord, you have my heart
and i will seach for Yours
Jesus take my life and lead me on.

this is it. this is me. mistakes and sins and warts and all. this isnt going to get any nicer. i just hope i have what it takes.