i think im looking for a fight. i am. i think ive finally begun to realize that even with all the drama, with all the heartache and pain and fear that came with the past…. there are things about it that i miss.

i had a mission. i had a battle to fight. even -if for a time- i was simply fighting for my life. i was still fighting. i had a goal. a vision. it was blurred, and charred, and it was never very clear, but i had vision. and passion.

Christmas is coming. like it or not, its less than 2 months away. walmart has been selling decorations and trees for weeks. i saw my first christmas themed commercial a few days ago. ive already heard carols… its coming. and i pray that with it, new vision comes too.

for once upon a holy night, 2000 years ago. shepherds saw their calling. wise men took heed of the signs, men heard “follow me”, and they left it all and followed.

these were real people. people with issues, and challenges, and personal demons they fought… but they were the chosen. they were given this message to carry to the world. and the world was never the same.

so as we, as i, approach this holiday season, i pray that you will find me standing in awe of the beauty that is around me. i pray for renewed vision. for renewed passion. for renewed joy. i pray for, hope.

i pray to leave all behind, follow Him… and be chosen.

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