how quickly things can change, and in a moment, what could have been an exercise in grace and patience easily becomes a moment of failure.

life is fickle, short, and ever changing.

this is what im learning.  and honestly, its what i want to remember all throughout 2009.  i surprised myself that i didnt post an end of 2008/welcome 2009 blog.  looking back, maybe i needed to be reminded of this.  of the need that i have, of the need we all have, for grace.

maybe i needed to be reminded that im no better than the next person.  that in view of eternity, standing under the vast expanse of stars…. that i am small.  and insignificant.  and that its only because of the One who chose me, that i am who i am.

i realized again today that my need for grace is no less than those around me.  that those who’s problems cause me problems, are no worse off than i am.

i learned again today, that i need Him.  that no matter the season of the soul i may be in, i am nothing without Him.

maybe this is my theme for 2009.  that i am small, that left to my own devices, i will fail.  that this life isnt about me, but its about the story,  its about the path i’ve been asked to walk.  and more than anything, its about grace.  freely offered, to all.


i wrote the above early this year.  and for some reason i didnt think it was time to post it.  well, it is now.

because 2009 has been hard.  full of questions and uncertainty.  and im sure, like so many others, worry for the future.

maybe your company is days from bankruptcy…. maybe you realized how close death can be from striking someone you care for immensely.  maybe someone else wont make their rent payment…. or the place filled with so many memories goes up for auction in less than 2 months…

maybe its all of the above.

maybe its learning that this whole trust thing, requires that we find ourselves in places where we simply… cannot.

because thats me, right now.  i cannot effect change in any of these areas.  not in and of myself.

it’s only in having to trust, do we find that our Saviour is trustworthy.  and its only when we really are helpless, that we finally understand what it means to hold on.

so i’ll stand.  and i’ll trust.  and with all i am, i will hold on to grace, to the promise of tomorrow…. and to the One who promised to never let me go.

Lifehouse – Spin