part of this journey, of these letters, will be facing my demons, my fears, my wounds. and bringing them to light. and last nights post, was just that. was what i hope is the beginning of this journey.
because if i truly want that change, if i truly believe that my future (eve) is worth the task given to me, if this dream is worth sacrifice, then it requires an honest appraisal of who one is. i cannot get where i want to be if i dont accept the simple truth about where i am. last nights post, was me, planting a flag on the map of life that said you are here.
it’s not my final destination, it’s not even tomorrows destination. but for this moment in my life, it defines a portion of who i am. at times, that portion seems huge. and at times, the definition seems huge. but they’re not final. they dont reflect my hopes, my dreams, my goals. or the type of man i want to be.
when this year began, i promised myself that this year would be a year of trying new things. of stepping out of old patterns of thinking, old ways of doing things. and my flag, next year, that says “you are here” wont be where this years is. it wont. because this is the year things change, i change. this will be the year definitions change.
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January 7, 2010 at 4:33 pm
lifeofk8
I truly did not mean to offend nor to say that what has happened should not affect you or that you should not allow yourself to be honest in who you are in this moment.
I meant simply that you are not only this person you seem to see, you are more. You are much more than I feel you are giving yourself credit for being. You are wonderful. And I want you to see what I see in you.
That’s all I was saying.
I love you Peej. Very much.