i didnt realize it until just a few days ago, but on february 15 my blog turned 8 (happy birthday blog!).  8 years.  wow.

when i started out on this journey, one of the first things i said was that i wanted it to be real.  i didnt want to pull punches or hide behind shoddily constructed white-washed walls.  i’ll admit that since that time, some posts havent been the most positive.  even recently i know you’ve seen me struggle.  hopefully, the struggle means ive been confronting things in my life.  things i’ve dealt with for years but i’ve never actually overcome.

and honestly, as i move forward, and as i face these demons once and for all, i cannot promise that future postings will be happy and full of cheer.  life isnt like that.  life isnt full of fluff and cotton candy.  life is hard.  it was meant to be.  and the more i live it, the more i realize that there are things, people, worth fighting for.  that there are dreams i desperately want to see come to pass.  that there are people i care deeply about.  people i will fight for.  people i’ll put it all on the line, come hell or high-water, is that all you’ve got, fight for.

the more i live this life, the more i realize that it’s through the hardships that we come to understand true worth, that we come to realize how deep real beauty lies.  that its in fighting through the crashing waves that we realize how important our next breath is.  and its when we’ve seen how much depravity exists, that our eyes understand how much grace we’ve been shown.

it’s only in the darkest of our days that the we understand how important light is.

i think the most important thing i’ve learned thus far, on this journey, is that we shouldnt run from our hardships.  because it’s in the midst of whatever it is we’re walking through, that we so often find what we never knew we needed.

my mp3 player is always on random.  and with 30 gigs of music to chose from, it really is random.  most times, i dont really focus on what’s playing as it’s really just something to help me focus at work.  earlier this morning, this song came on.  and although i purchased the album some time ago, this was the first time ive actually listened  this song.  since then, it’s been on repeat.  why?  because i needed to hear it.

and if you’re at all like me, then you need to hear it too.

i cannot promise that life will be easy when you wake up tomorrow.  but if you stick with it, and deal with what you need to deal with, it will be beautiful.  it will.
Fee – Arms That Hold The Universe

i know it seems like this could be
the darkest day you’ve known
but believe you me, the God of strength
will never let you go
He will overcome, i know

and the arms that hold the universe
are holding you tonight
you can rest inside
it’s gonna be alright
and the voice that calmed the raging sea
is calling you His child
so be still and know He’s in control
He will never let you go

through many dangers, toils and snares
you have already come
but His grace has brought you safe this far
and His grace will lead you home

and the arms that hold the universe
are holding you tonight
you can rest inside
it’s gonna be alright
and the voice that calmed the raging sea
is calling you His child
so be still and know He’s in control
He will never let you go

you can hope, you can rise|
you can stand
He’s still got the whole world
in his Hands

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