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maybe its the realization that life will always keep going. even when our life falls apart. the world doesnt stop. maybe its just the determination to put that one foot in front of the next… and just continue to keep going.
hope isnt a beautiful uplifting thing… its the decision to breath through water-filled lungs.
i made the decision long ago…. to allow myself to expierence feelings fully.
whether it was joy or pain… completion or loneliness… whatever it is, i choose to feel… to live… fully.
and i make that statement again.
this life i think im living will never again be normal. but i choose to live it fully.
july 19, 2003… a date that will forever be burned in my memory.
welcome to the war….
this is it. the end of the weekend fast approches. 20 minutes from now sunday evening will end… and monday morning will begin.
and the only thing i can feel right now is an amazing sense of “wow”….
and an overwhelming feeling of “whats next”.
ya know what else? i realized something today while talking with a good friend of mine.
i realized that our preceptions are almost always wrong.
you will never truly be able to know someone until you see them the way He does.
sometime very very soon…. i will need to apologize to a few people for clinging to a preception.
sometime very soon, this will need to be said….
i am in need.
i dont know of what.
but i do know that when Jesus met the blind man in John 9, the blind man didnt even realize he needed to be healed till Jesus met him…
i pray that that is me.
victory doesnt come to those who neccessarily fight the hardest.or those with the most zeal.
or even those with the largest army….
victory comes to those….
who realize the battle is bigger than they are.
victory belongs to the quiet survivors
the things we remember most in this life… regaring the ones we care about more than anything…
wont be their actions.
or the words they speak.
it wont be the gifts given….
or special times shared.
more and more im realizing, that the things we will remember most vividly… will be when they let the silence speak for them.
it may be that they simply stand silently with you, knowing words wont change anything, as you watch your family disintegrate.
it may be that they support you through silent love and emotionally being there, when your world falls apart….
or it may simply be that the silence… was caused by them not being there.
i firmly believe that you dont truly know someone until you’ve expierenced there silence…
because in the silence… the truth begins to scream.
ill be honest… at first, i was too rushed to even notice this.but kate hun, ive been listening to one song all evening long. and then i read your blog…
and i didnt make the connection till just now…
so – from the bottom of who i am…
when you feel all alone
and the world has turned its back on you
give me a moment please
to tame your wild wild heart
i know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
its hard to find relief
and people can be so cold
when darkness is upon your door
and you feel like you cant take anymore
let me be the one you call
if you jump, ill break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the nite
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
and if you need to crash then crash and burn
you’re not alone
when you feel all alone
and a loyal friend is hard to find
you’re caught in a one way street
with the monsters in your head
when hopes and dreams are far away
and you feel like you cant face the day
let me be the one you call
if you jump, ill break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the nite
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
and if you need to crash then crash and burn
you’re not alone
cuz there has always been heartache and pain
but when its over, you’ll breath again
you’ll breath again.
when you feel all alone
and the world has turned its back on you
give me a moment please
to tame your wild wild heart
let me be the one you call
if you jump, ill break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the nite
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
and if you need to crash then crash and burn
you’re not alone
it seems, to me anyway, that i will never cease to be amazed at how quickly life can change.even today – something i thought was pretty much solid, in the life of a friend… is now, suddenly… gone.
and someone i care about deeply – is now thrown into the midst of the unknown…
unknown. it seems to be the word of today.
its the very escence of who i am right now…
im standing on the edge.
waiting for something to happen….
be ready… for soon, it will be
time to fly….
in response to the above question….*
the answer is no.
or, more clearly
no, not yet.
but i will be.
(when this blog was titled “am i who i want to be?”)
two quick things…
for some reason, even tho people are posting to comments – it isnt changing showing it on the main page.
to tony and tommy, thanks for the encouragement!
and now… ::drumroll::
you can email me directly!
woohoo
feel free to contact me at
thislifeithinkimliving@hotmail.com
“Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you’re never ready for big moments. No one asked for their life to change, not really, but it does. So what are we helpless, puppets? No, the big moments are going to come, you can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you really are. You’ll see what I mean.”
-whistler
its coming.
i dont know when.
i dont know what…
but war is coming.
it takes more courage to suffer than to die….
bring it on.
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 