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im slowly realizing that life will always be throwing crap at me. when ive conquered one thing, another will step right in and take its place. i need to stop freaking out whenever another bomb drops. and the past 24 hours have brought two.
but you know what? the sun will still rise tomorrow. people will get up. they will go to work. beyond that, i’m not in london right now. im not in the Florida panhandle. im here… and in my life tomorrow, the Son will rise.
this is our time. oh my freakin i am alive. and i need to start acting like it. no matter what may come my way, my life is in His hands. and Lord, i recomit myself to that, to your purposes and to you even right now. forgive my wanderings and…. do whatever you need to do in me as quickly as it can be done.
todays thankfulness item? a future. i am thankful for my future. for the future of my family. for my sisters, for my mom. assured. guarenteed. Christ signed His name in blood to promise that to me. and i need to start living like i believe it.
the question at hand,
help me understand is this your plan?
i think i can,can i think? then i think i can
because i wont break (nah)
and i wont shake (nah)
with lifted hands to this man (Jah) i stand in faith
ill make it through with my trust in you
close my eyes, make a wish, kiss the sky
cos now i see you
where did this come from?
in so many ways, im just stagnant.
its as if i chose to fracture my spiritual growth in segements. ill focus on one area… or specific areas, and completely ignore others.
im realizing that tonite.
im also realizing that time flies by. and that the most mundane moments in life, are sometimes the most precious.
so as i sit here, contemplating decisions that will undoubtedly impact the rest of my life, and the lives of those i care about the most… my initial reaction is to try and reason all this out. figure out how i can make this happen so that all parties involved have the best chances for happiness. but i realize it is an excercise in futility.
i guess what i want to say tonite, is this…
man cannot live… no matter how hard he tries… without sunshine. i love the sunshine. my sunshine.
and my prayer tonite,
Lord, help me to run to you. Help me fall back in love with You. and help me to surrender everything to Your hands.
God is bigger than the air i breath
the world we live in
God will save the day
and all will say
My Glorious
My Glorious
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there’s always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you’re in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there’s vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don’t make no difference
escaping one last time
it’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
time is to short, to say its ok
i think i cant live this way for just another day.
so i searched through the nite for the One my heart loves.
wont stop till ive found You, oh Lord i need to hold you close
be the King of this heart again. be the King of this life.
in my soul. there is a cry today. be the King of this heart
save me….
we live our lives desperately yearning for the next distraction. searching, trying, clinging to the next thing that helps us lose focus of the depravity of our lives. we fight with all we have, against all we know to be truth, to simply lose ourselves in something that only hurts us in the end.
and it is in the end that we realize… that we were never the only ones were wounded.
what we need is not safety from our enemies…
its salvation from ourselves.
wake me up inside
wake me up inside
call my name and save me from myself
somewhere along the way… i lost something. i forgot something very vital. somewhere, somehow… i stopped believing that i was a warrior.
that has just changed.
this life is not just a road to travel…. its a battle to fight. and to win.
these wings may be broken and shattered… but they wont be forever.
soon, very soon… you will see me fly.
oh what i would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armour
wishing they had the strength to stand
but the giants calling out my name and he laughs at me
reminding me of all the times ive tried before and failed
the giant keeps on telling me time and time again “boy you’ll never win”
“you’ll never win”
but the voice of truth
tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid”
the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
out of all the voices calling out to me
i will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
the winter here’s cold and bitter
it’s chilled us to the bone.
we haven’t seen the sun for weeks
too long too far from home.
i feel just like im sinking
and i claw for solid ground.
im pulled down by the undertow
never thought i could feel so low.
oh the darkness i feel like letting go.
if all of the strength and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
i know i could love you much better than this
so im not sure why im deciding to post tonite.
ive been thinkin just a little bit about a question someone i care for asked me a few days ago.
why do we have winter?
now understand, tthis question was posed during a period of subzero windchills… (minus 30 tomorrow)
i ended up speaking with someone else earlier this week about a cello we had gotten a chance to listen to. a 300 year old, $40,000 cello. and we ended up talking about the Stradivarius Violins. about how pure and beautiful they sound…
and how, they just figured out why these specific violins outshine all others.
its the wood.
the wood they’re made with was taken from the tree line of a mountain region. the trees at this altitude were the first ones to fight through the cold ground and actually thrive… just a few feet higher in altitude and all plant life stops.
this is where the wood came from.
and it was because of the insane winters, the gale force winds, the blazing heat from the sun…. the overall harsh living conditions, that created a wood that was more dense than anything out there. the very cellular structure of the wood was different than that of violins made from the same type of trees from less intimidating evrioments.
this wood, in the hands of a master, becomes something of beauty. something that now is valued in the millions of dollars. something that was more than the simple sum of its parts.
so to answer the question…
our winters force our roots to go deep. we either fight through what we’re going through… or we die.
if we choose to fight, we’re forever changed. and one step closer to being something beautiful…
when played, in the Masters hand.
Jesus
you are my source
for my every need
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