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sometimes our most powerful thoughts… are lost when we try to convey them with too many words…
so from the bottom of my toes…
little sparrow –
thank you.
this is in response to k8s most recent posting… if you havent read it, check it out here.
ive found myself wanting to do the same thing on my site too k8. maybe not for the same reasons, but things just seem to be changing so quickly that within days, my posts are either outdated – or ive changed beyond that spot.
it seems that with extreme change externally comes extreme changes in the heart. and im beginning to learn that changes in the heart will inevitably bring about changes externally.
i used to think – not sure why, but i did – that the realms of the heart were rarely able to impact the realm of the external. for some reason, i just assumed that they existed in two seperate areas. two seperate levels of reality.
maybe its because im slowly allowing myself to open back up to some long lost dreams… hopes… and ideals. maybe its because in doing so, my reality, as i’ve known it – has been shaken.
change is coming. i keep saying it. i know.
maybe it is no longer the right statement to make anymore. because, the truth is…
change is here.
its in me.
its in my heart.
its in the gifts that have lied dormant for so long that are springing to life.
its in the way my prayers have changed.
its in the way my heart beats. and the things it beats for.
Lord you have my heart
And I will search for yours
Jesus take my life and lead me on.
you’re a dreamer
someone just said that to me while discussing my lack of putt putt skills…
my reply?
ya know what, on an entirely different leve – i hope i am
change.
it is coming.
in actuallity…it is here.
here is to embracing changes.
to uncovering diamonds that you simply never saw among the coals…
and to risk.
to risking it all. to putting it all out on the line. to being 100% gut level real.
to saying –
take it or leave it. this is me. ive got nothing more to offer. but i can promise to love you with all i am.
to those who are saying that already – i say continue to press on…
and to those, like myself, finding themselves on the brink of change…. my hearts cry… my passion… is this.
dont hold back.
so im going to launch tonites posting without a title. however, i have this feeling that a title will be found as i wind my way through my thoughts.of which, ive only two.
have you ever been having a conversation with someone and only realized something… or only had something hit you – when you hear it come out of your own mouth?
i did.
tonite.
wow.
i dont know what to think right now. and im no where near sure if anything is even ‘right’.
but i will say
wow.
and…. to end the nite….
in each moment of life… in each, scene in this great play…. we’re given a specific role. some of us may at times be the star of the show… at other times, we may play supporting roles. in other scenes, we may be nothing more than background and filler… or even props… and then there are the times when we’re called to be nothing more than the guy who sweeps up the auditorium after the show…
in each scene of my life, i want to be where im supposed to be…in the role im supposed to be doing. be that star, tree, or janitor…. i do not care…i simply want to be right where im destined to be.
and as the curtain closes on tonite, may you find rest for your souls under His wings… and in His peace.
(nannyk8 – call me?)
maybe its the realization that life will always keep going. even when our life falls apart. the world doesnt stop. maybe its just the determination to put that one foot in front of the next… and just continue to keep going.
hope isnt a beautiful uplifting thing… its the decision to breath through water-filled lungs.
i made the decision long ago…. to allow myself to expierence feelings fully.
whether it was joy or pain… completion or loneliness… whatever it is, i choose to feel… to live… fully.
and i make that statement again.
this life i think im living will never again be normal. but i choose to live it fully.
july 19, 2003… a date that will forever be burned in my memory.
welcome to the war….
this is it. the end of the weekend fast approches. 20 minutes from now sunday evening will end… and monday morning will begin.
and the only thing i can feel right now is an amazing sense of “wow”….
and an overwhelming feeling of “whats next”.
ya know what else? i realized something today while talking with a good friend of mine.
i realized that our preceptions are almost always wrong.
you will never truly be able to know someone until you see them the way He does.
sometime very very soon…. i will need to apologize to a few people for clinging to a preception.
sometime very soon, this will need to be said….
the things we remember most in this life… regaring the ones we care about more than anything…
wont be their actions.
or the words they speak.
it wont be the gifts given….
or special times shared.
more and more im realizing, that the things we will remember most vividly… will be when they let the silence speak for them.
it may be that they simply stand silently with you, knowing words wont change anything, as you watch your family disintegrate.
it may be that they support you through silent love and emotionally being there, when your world falls apart….
or it may simply be that the silence… was caused by them not being there.
i firmly believe that you dont truly know someone until you’ve expierenced there silence…
because in the silence… the truth begins to scream.
ill be honest… at first, i was too rushed to even notice this.but kate hun, ive been listening to one song all evening long. and then i read your blog…
and i didnt make the connection till just now…
so – from the bottom of who i am…
when you feel all alone
and the world has turned its back on you
give me a moment please
to tame your wild wild heart
i know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
its hard to find relief
and people can be so cold
when darkness is upon your door
and you feel like you cant take anymore
let me be the one you call
if you jump, ill break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the nite
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
and if you need to crash then crash and burn
you’re not alone
when you feel all alone
and a loyal friend is hard to find
you’re caught in a one way street
with the monsters in your head
when hopes and dreams are far away
and you feel like you cant face the day
let me be the one you call
if you jump, ill break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the nite
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
and if you need to crash then crash and burn
you’re not alone
cuz there has always been heartache and pain
but when its over, you’ll breath again
you’ll breath again.
when you feel all alone
and the world has turned its back on you
give me a moment please
to tame your wild wild heart
let me be the one you call
if you jump, ill break your fall
lift you up and fly away with you into the nite
if you need to fall apart, i can mend a broken heart
and if you need to crash then crash and burn
you’re not alone
it seems, to me anyway, that i will never cease to be amazed at how quickly life can change.even today – something i thought was pretty much solid, in the life of a friend… is now, suddenly… gone.
and someone i care about deeply – is now thrown into the midst of the unknown…
unknown. it seems to be the word of today.
its the very escence of who i am right now…
im standing on the edge.
waiting for something to happen….
be ready… for soon, it will be
time to fly….
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 