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things change.old dreams come true.
and as a result – other dreams are reawakened.
life is never so constant as to be boring…. if it ever was – would it be considered living?
friendships can change. people change.
but one thing remains the same.
faith, hope and love.
but the greatest of these – is love.
so help me to be brave. to reach out for broken dreams. to pick up the pieces and ignore the scars… to be more determined… to look for the light. help me to love. help me to fight.
Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You are the one….
for tonite… thats the sum of my thoughts.
and they arent even mine.
i simply heard them. and they connected with me.
connected…
thats my hearts cry…
my heart…
i want my heart reconnected to my Saviour
im gonna be a history maker in this land
im gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
im gonna stand
im gonna run
into Your arms
into Your arms again….
not sure what i think about this…
especially after telling courtney that i AM a guy… but hey.. ya answer something truthfully and bam…
cinderella…
well, i just hope it means im romantic:-)
Cinderella!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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this is in response to k8s most recent posting… if you havent read it, check it out here.
ive found myself wanting to do the same thing on my site too k8. maybe not for the same reasons, but things just seem to be changing so quickly that within days, my posts are either outdated – or ive changed beyond that spot.
it seems that with extreme change externally comes extreme changes in the heart. and im beginning to learn that changes in the heart will inevitably bring about changes externally.
i used to think – not sure why, but i did – that the realms of the heart were rarely able to impact the realm of the external. for some reason, i just assumed that they existed in two seperate areas. two seperate levels of reality.
maybe its because im slowly allowing myself to open back up to some long lost dreams… hopes… and ideals. maybe its because in doing so, my reality, as i’ve known it – has been shaken.
change is coming. i keep saying it. i know.
maybe it is no longer the right statement to make anymore. because, the truth is…
change is here.
its in me.
its in my heart.
its in the gifts that have lied dormant for so long that are springing to life.
its in the way my prayers have changed.
its in the way my heart beats. and the things it beats for.
Lord you have my heart
And I will search for yours
Jesus take my life and lead me on.
again for tonite… im gonna leave this post without a title. im hoping that more or less, ill just end up pouring some of who i am right now into this post.
with newly discovered love… comes the need for newly, or possibly renewed… surrender.
i cant begin to describe how much has changed in little more than a month.
i am utterly terrified.
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
CS Lewis
i dont know what the next step is. or even if there should be a next step.
all i know…. is this.
when the music fades
and all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring
something thats of worth
that will bless Your heart
ill bring You more than a song
for a song in itself is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart.
im coming back to the heart of worship
and its all about You…. all about You.
i cant begin to describe how much ive changed.
ive dropped things i didnt think i was carrying….
just earlier this evening i decided to write off soda from my diet completely.
i know, its a stupid example, but if you knew me, you’d know it was big.
i know im scared. more so now, than i was 6 months ago. i dont understand whats happening in my heart. and i know… i just know, something big is coming. and its coming fast.
change is coming.
i have this nagging thought that soon, im going to have to take a leap… and launch myself into the unknown.
I swear ive no idea where what im feeling is coming from.
this is it.
this is soooo gonna be it.
the line is coming. a choice will have to be made.
i dont know where, i dont know how… i dont even know what the choice is going to be, but its coming.
the leap – is coming…..
welcome to the beginning of the unknown.
change.
it is coming.
in actuallity…it is here.
here is to embracing changes.
to uncovering diamonds that you simply never saw among the coals…
and to risk.
to risking it all. to putting it all out on the line. to being 100% gut level real.
to saying –
take it or leave it. this is me. ive got nothing more to offer. but i can promise to love you with all i am.
to those who are saying that already – i say continue to press on…
and to those, like myself, finding themselves on the brink of change…. my hearts cry… my passion… is this.
dont hold back.
i think i said that just a little while ago.last month to be exact? i think ill repost that. just to be clear.
——–
i havent given up….
its a funny thing, isnt it. romance that is. at the very moment when you’ve given up on ever finding it…
it simply walks into your life like it was always there.
i’d be careful if i was you, or you may miss it. for you see, romance can form in unexpected places… and in unexpected persons.
i say all that to simply say this…
i havent given up. not yet.
i choose to believe that there is someone out there…
someone who, when she speaks… my world stops turning. when she looks at me, i realize my world is a much smaller place… because i see my future in her eyes… someone who makes me want to be a better man…
i havent given up…. not yet.
———–
so maybe my post was on the right topic, just somewhat off center as to whom it was for.
either way… congrats to beebs and mr. italiano. one week officially at 2 am saturday morning.
now the question thats been haunting me all week this week has had to do with romance.
for those of you who know me. for the past year and a half ive written off a ‘significant other’ so much so that i was almost anti-romance. and wouldnt ya know…. somethings just gotta go and change. i dont honestly know what it is that has changed. but it has. something inside me…. maybe its not changing. maybe… maybe the yearnings in my heart for a ‘special someone’ are just slowly beginning to reawaken with the light of day. maybe its….oh who knows. its 2 am almost and im more than exhausted.
and sleep just wont come.
im afraid its real.
im afraid its not.
im afraid its what i think it is.
and im afraid that its just my pathetic attempt to keep myself from getting hurt again….
im not sure what to think…
its a double edge sword.
aac6202: girls are weird pj
aac6202: dont move on yet
the most true phrase ive heard all nite long.
so yeah. they are weird.
and no, im not gonna move on.
not yet.
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 