You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘The Story’ category.
the last time i sat, and simply watched the world go by, i was more than a thousand miles from here. and, as im now realizing, facing some of the same challenges. and i grasped then, as i do now, that there is so much more going on here than i’ll probably ever understand. that there is more to the story than i allow myself to see.
i, like so many of us, had given up on the mythos that calls to our hearts. the mystery and myth that swirls through our favorite stories. i’d given up on adventure, on stories worth telling.
in so many ways, ive believed the lie that this life is all that there is. that face value, is real value.
and i am reminded tonight that there is more to the story than i see right now. that life isnt 9-5, pivot tables and time-sheets. im reminded that we were called to live life abundantly. and i am reminded that there exists one who’s very goal is to keep us from that life.
John Eldredge in Waking the Dead talks of this mythos. of realizing that there is more. he says
“of all the Eternal Truths we dont believe, this is the one we doubt most of all. our days are not extraordinary. they are filled with the mundane, with hassles mostly. and we? we are… a dime a dozen. nothing special really. probably a disappointment to God. but as CS Lewis wrote, “the value of… myth is that it takes all the things we know and restores them to the rich significance which has been hidden by the ‘veil of familiarity.'” you are not what you think you are. there is a glory to your life that your enemy fears, and he is hell-bent on destroying that glory before you act on it. this part of the answer will sound unbelievable at first; perhaps it will sound too good to be true; certainly, you will wonder if its true for you. but once you begin to see with those eyes, once you have begun to know it is true from the bottom of your heart, it will change everything.
the story of your life is the long and brutal assault on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it.”
so as i sit, and the world is passing me by, i am realizing, again that starbucks, commuting, and this 2 dimensional world i so often chose to live in, isnt all there is.
i spent the majority of last week in Michigan on business. and throughout the trip, i kept mulling on the word adventure. i had prayed, before i left, that the trip would be a success and that i would find an adventure. the trip went well, and although the adventure i’d asked for did come, it wasnt at all what i had expected.
one comment my boss said last week, stuck with me. we were talking about hobbies, about how i love antiques and music, and about how he loves classic cars and 40’s big band. and he said that when he retired, he’d love to set up a dark room, go shooting, and develop his own photos.
he said it wasnt because he wanted to be a great photographer, or that he even enjoyed taking pictures. he said….
“sometimes, its not the picture that matters. sometimes is the process of developing it.”
sometimes its not the destination that matters, but the process of getting there.
sometimes, its not where one is headed, but that one travels. sometimes the goal isnt the destination, but about living life. and you… i will never live this life sitting still. i wont live it behind a computer screen, or inside my cocooned world of electronic gadgetry.
life is found when we risk something. and life is lived, when we get something wrong. when we think we know something, and we realize that we were completely incorrect.
and completely incomplete.
its in those moments, when another page of our story is written. and we look back upon the words we spoke, the messages we delivered, the way we loved, or didnt, and we learn. we learn who we are, and where we need to change. we learn about our lives, our hearts, our hurts, and the hurts of others.
its in those moments that we see ourselves for who we really are.
and its in those moments we see others for who they are.
(eve)- i once thought i knew who you were. i once thought i understood where i was, where this was headed. i realize now, that there may be things i’m never certain of.
that doesnt mean you’re not out there. life is mysterious, it is mythic, to be lived fully, and should be revered as such. as deep, wide, and all-consuming. it should be looked at as an adventure.
and if living in this adventure means being uncertain of more things than i am certain of, then so be it.
because it will be worth it. because following this story through to the end, because reading this opus, because getting lost in the myth, will be worth it.
because you, loving you, will be worth it.
so i will live in the adventure now, to be ready for that time. i will jump headlong into the story of my life. and when you appear, i will be ready.
future of forestry – set your sails
we live our lives trying to maintain balance. driven to play fair, all the while veiling our intent of protecting what we feel is rightfully ours.
we live balancing our own desires for self preservation and expansion, with the knowledge that we should play nice. we may, on occasion, look out for another, or step outside of our comfort zone. but we do so only when we know we are mere steps away from being in control. we only risk what doesnt matter. and we only give what we can live without.
we donate our old books, our used clothes, the shoes and tupperware we no longer need. but we keep the new, the best, for ourselves.
we dont give grace, we dont live out the realness of mercy. sure, we can when it doesnt cost, or when its something we no longer need. but ask for something we just obtained? step into and muddy our comfort zone? and we forget the grace we ourselves, were given.
take something we believe is rightfully ours, and see how little we truly understand this thing called grace.
back into our car and drive off, catch us doing something embarrassing and laugh, trip us up and make us stumble, and you’ll see what we’re made of.
topple our painstakingly created house of cards and you will not find grace. you will not find mercy. you will not find someone conscious of the grace they were given.
shatter our facade, and you will see us as we are. broken, wounded, hungry, scarred and scared. and in our own eyes, unworthy of the grace we have been shown. and in that perception, in that lack of belief, of trust in the grace given, we lash out. we defend, our turf, our selves, our self-worth.
you dont see grace, because we lost sight of it.
you dont see grace, because i lost sight of it.
—
the highest calling we will ever be given, isnt to preach to millions, or have our writings inspire the masses. it’s not to raise awareness of the poor or funds for the downtrodden.
it is to love, as Christ loved.
it is to show grace, as He showed grace.
it is to be real, and honest, and let people see us, for us. for the broken, wounded, hungry, scarred and scared people that we are. but it’s also to show them, that this isnt all of who we are.
that there is more.
that we’ve been shown grace.
that our wounds are healing. that are fears, are falling by the wayside.
that we answered a divine invitation, and our lives were never the same.
,,,,,,
future of forestry – divine invitation
in this divine invitation
we find Your embrace
and in our deep adoration
see the light of Your face
in this divine invitation
we all find the place
for our souls
where the longings were born long ago
tonight? tonight my heart is full. and tonight i am challenged.
tonight, i am reminded of things bigger than me. of dreams bigger than the life im currently living. tonight i am reminded that its not that we were called to be perfect, but that we were called to trust.
tonight, i am humbled. by the beauty i see in those close to me, and close to my heart.
tonight, i am reminded again, that life isnt meant to be lived with a focus on the now. but that life was meant to be lived looking forward, looking towards something. tonight, i am reminded that the calling we follow isnt to drown in the patterns and responsibilities of our jobs or slowly fade away in the busyness of the now, but to reflect the love of the One who created the very fabric of time.
tonight, i am reminded of hope.
i am reminded that we walk by faith, and not by sight.
so even when i dont see, i will believe.
that i am not alone. that this isnt all there is. that there is more. and that we, you and i, were called to live in the more. that we were called to passionately follow the God of passionate love. that we were called to see the sunrise, feel the warmth of the ocean breeze, stand in awe of the mountains and sit in silence under the desert sky.
that we were called to love, fiercely.
i will believe that there is a great and wonderful and beautiful story being written, that we are IN this story, and that we would see it as it is.
we will see the beauty, the hope, the greatness and wonder of each day, if only we would believe.
one sonic society – burn
i was thinking a few days ago. thinking about worship, and this thing called love. and i began to understand that part of my apprehension with love in general, is the same reason that there are certain things i just wont do in public.
i wont sing.
i can stand up in front of CEO’s, Presidents, VP’s, Directors, etc. and give a presentation. but sing? i wont even do that in the shower.
why?
because when i do something, i like doing it well. very, very well. and if i cannot do it well, then i do not want to try.
thats a dangerous way to live ones life. living that way means never trying something new. it means never experiencing the sheer joy of laughing at yourself. of making a mess as you try a new recipe. of learning to dance, and quickly realizing you have two left feet, all while making your date wish she’d worn steel toed boots.
its a dangerous way to lives ones life because we werent called to perfection, we were called to trust. and its in the simple obedience, it’s in the simple trust that our best, not the best, will be good enough. its in the trust that we can make a fool of ourself on the dance floor, or sing horribly off-key during karaoke, or cause food critics everywhere to cringe with our most recent creation, that we find life, and a life worth living.
we dont raise our children to believe that unless they’re the best, there is no use in trying. when we were growing up, our refrigerators were not covered in works from Picasso, Rembrandt, Degas or Monet. rather, they were covered with a childs expression of joy. finger paints, crayons, markers and probably the occasional spaghetti sauce stain.
to the trained art critic? junk.
to a parent? priceless.
if we held ourselves to such high expectations on the only relationship that truly matters, we would never approach Him. we would never find the grace and help that He promised, if we never step boldly into His presence. we would never know the intimacy in worship, or the real life saving of a real life Saviour. we would never know the creator of our Hearts, as the One who also holds them in His hands.
we would never understand how much He loved us, how much He loves us, if we never allow ourselves to come close.
and if we dont hold ourselves to such a level of perfection with God, why would we hold ourselves to that level of expectation with our friends and family? why would we avoid them if we cannot have our facade just so? why would we put up a front, when these are the very people who care for us? and we care for?
we dont want that. when we come down to the core of what we’re looking for in our relationships, we want to see the real in each other. we want to be us, and we want to see the real person on the other side of the table.
there is a beauty in the mess. there is grace in getting your toes stepped on. there is freedom, in living life the way we were created to live it.
messily.
at times, disastrously.
but all the time, fully.
future of forestry – this hour
This is the life
The life of huge and small
Forces blind or they guide you to shore
You’re alive and you pour your heart like you should
I know you’d step back and see if you could
Don’t whisper, don’t wait
Sing out this hour
Sing out this restless hour
Sing out, sing out, and let it go
Sing on this time
Sing on this lovely time
Sing on, sing on, and let it go
This is the life
Your soul is just what they seek
You feel the clash but you scarcely can see
Love is alive and is pouring down like a flood
I know you’d step back and see if you could
Don’t whisper, don’t wait
It’s your turn, it’s yours now
You are free, to capture your daylight
sometimes the most important thing we can do in life, is the simplest. and sometimes the simplest things, are the hardest
future of forestry – close your eyes
Promise once it shut you out
You ask, “What was that all about now?”
You and I through rise and fall
We’ve seen the horizon through it all now
Close your eyes this time
‘Cause trust is all we have tonight
But trust will be forever
Safe your dreams will be
‘Cause trust will be the light tonight
So close your eyes this time
The house sits stale, it lets you roam
Inside it just don’t feel like home now
I promise hope will pull you out
For that’s what love is all about
Time will turn this place around
For the man you call Jesus was still a Son like you
Sons will spend their days searching hard for the things they are made of
Close your eyes this time
Trust will be the light tonight so close your eyes this time
Trust will be the light tonight so close your eyes
you promised that if we lay aside our life, and follow you, that we would find life. and that this life would be abundant.
you promised that the road wouldn’t be easy, but that you’d never leave us.
you promised that the stories we would write in our lives, would be stories of immense beauty, if only we’d give you the pen.
i struggle with that. with giving up, and letting you have control. i dont like trust. and its not that you’re not trustworthy, because you are. it’s that i’m afraid. afraid that if i let you in, let you see the dreams i hold so tightly to my heart, that they wont come true. and the risk of losing these dreams are almost not worth letting you in.
it’s living without the sun, too afraid to go outside. it’s standing in the eventide field, under the stars, yearning for the daylight and settling for the remnants of a day reflected in the moon. always settling for an imitation, a reflection of the thing that gives life. never throwing open the door, casting ones fears to the wind and running headlong into the beautiful daylight.
you said, that if we delight in you. if we find our pleasure in you, in who you are. in your beauty, your holiness, your plans and dreams, your precepts… if we find our life in you, then you would give us the desires of our heart.
i want you.
the life that you offer. for me. for those i love and care about. i want to be a man who emulates you. i want to be the moon, standing over someone else’s night, reflecting your light, life and love into their fields of darkness. i want to live like you lived. to love like you love.
because you loved first.
one sonic society – the greatness of our God
there are nights when i find it difficult to breathe. when a tightness constricts my chest. nights when i wonder if ive done what i should have. if my past, dictates my future.
nights when i wonder what could have happened. if only id done or not done….
nights when the worries of this world, the storm of voices swirling around my head, voices of accusation, self-doubt, my own fears and concerns, never let up.
there are nights when the questions i never allow myself to verbalize keep me up much later than i sometimes let on.
some time ago, i wrote about (eve), and although at the time i didnt make the post public, i felt i should. why? because so much of what started with that post is still at work within me.
so much of what im going through right now, rediscovering my heart, my passion, what fills me, and makes me alive, started with that post. with realizing that in some respects, if you’re a single male over the age of 18, you’re an (adam).
you’re walking through this life doing your best to become the man you want to be. if you’re lucky, you’ve had men in your life who’ve shown you the ropes, who’ve guided you through the confusing world of women, responsibilities, and what it means to be a man.
if you’re really lucky, you’ve had a man who knew the value of the wilderness. who has fought his own battles and has the scars to prove it. a man who understands what it feels like to be alone, and to strike out on his own. a man who knows what failure feels like, and who knows what its like to pick himself up, and move on.
a man who’s faced his demons, and is the better for it.
a man who may walk, in so many ways, with a limp, but in all purposes of the word, a man.
a man who understands who his God is. who knows intimately what it means to depend on someone greater than him. and by default of his willingness to learn and lean on His great God, a man who knows the value of the woman by His side.
and if you were to ask this woman, if she knew she was loved, there would be no doubt in her eyes as she gave you her answer.
i keep coming back to this, but there is great value in the process. in going through what we’ve been called to go through.
and tonight, that is what i’m going to cling to. i am going to realize that i am really, really lucky. because i have a man i can follow. One who understands the value of the wilderness. One who has faced demons, and bears the scars to prove it. a man who understood feeling alone, and what it means to walk a road no one has walked before. a man who understands our failures more intimately than we do.
a man who in every meaning of the word, is a man
i am going to depend on this Someone greater than me. i am going to rest in the truth that my past does not dictate my future. i am going to trust, that He is greater than anything i will face in this life.
and i’m going to pray the same for you.
Future of Forestry – All I Want
I will go where glory meets the crude and weak
I will go where mercy meets the shame
I will go where strength will find the small and meek
I will go where magic meets mundane
And Youre all I want, Youre all I want
Youre all Ill find
You have my heart forever
You are all that I could need
I will go where grace and healing love restores
I will go where peace and rest is known
I will go where friendship finds my heart in yours
I will go where beauty leads me home
im beginning to believe that our lives are not changed and our stories are not written during the mountaintop experiences of our lives. im beginning to understand that although those experiences at the peak make life wonderful, vibrant and full of color, we cannot live expecting them to be around every corner.
we werent called to stand on the precipice and shout down instructions to those still struggling along the cliffs, but to be there, in the valley, along the crags, with those who are barely hanging on. we are called to be there, not just look there.
i’m realizing that its in those moments when our lives expand, when fresh air fills our lungs, when His presence is most real in us. it’s not when we’re standing at the top, overlooking the beauty of creation, but its when we’re standing in the rain, helping someone to the next foothold, seeing the beauty of the Creator inside of them that we have impact, that our stories matter, that we help others write their stories.
im beginning to think that its in the day-to-day grind, that we have the greatest capacity for greatness. we aren’t called to live our lives on the mountain top looking down. rather, we were called to consistently step outside of our comfort zones, retrace our steps, and help others along the paths that we have walked.
we have all experienced times when we walked through the valley. when the storms raged around us and the wind was so fierce that we struggled to take our next breath. when the pain of our wounds made it almost impossible to raise our head, much less move forward. we have all had times when we could barely see our next step, much less the path before us. we’ve all been there. and it’s when we go back to those places, to the wounds in our lives and tell others our stories, that hope is birthed.
im beginning to learn that the greatness that exists inside of us stems from the quality of the story being told in our lives. and im beginning to understand that our scars are not wounds to be hidden, but medals to be worn. that our redemption, our Redeemer, lives in our stories. in our stories of pain and heartache, of healing and hope. in our stories of failure and struggle, and of finding victory in hearing the stories of those who have gone before.
my life will eventually be summed by the quality of the stories ive lived. and when i leave this life, i want those who gather to remember, to tell those stories. i want to be remembered as one who followed after his God. who loved his wife fiercely, passionately, unconditionally. i want to be remembered as a man who didnt live his life on the mountaintop, rather i want stories told of how my life was impacted, and how i impacted others in the valleys. i want to be remembered as someone who lived a life that pointed not to the beauty of creation, but of the Creator.
One Sonic Society – Burn
Lord, write me into Your great story
Lord, write me into Your great song
take all i have, it’s for Your glory
one day, all else will be gone
one day, all else will be gone
Your name, be glorified
gloried
Your name, be glorified
glorified
i mean that. take what i’ve got, help me to tell the stories i’ve lived, to be real. to be the reflection of you on the side of this mountain. i dont know how to have a great story of my own. so please, write me into Yours.
so i love the Animal Planet. sue me. 🙂
actually, i ended up watching a special they had on a few days ago. it chronicled some amazing stories of pets that were left beind after hurricate katrina, and how they somehow survived at times weeks without food or water. it showed the pain the owners felt when they were told they had to leave there pets behind.
and it showed in beautiful detail, the joy… the joy of restoration.
i wasnt 5 minutes into the show and i had tears in my eyes.
the first story was told of an an older black man and his terrier. he had spent the first 4 nights after katrina on a highway overpass with his dog and a bunch of other people before finally getting to someplace of relative safety. after all the trauma of seeing his city under 5 feet of water, sleeping on overpasses and being afraid for his life he was then told he couldnt board a bus with his dog.
so he did what he had to do. and left the dog.
weeks later the dog was rescued by volunteers who found this little dog had swum 2 1/2 blocks back to his house… he was alive. shortly thereafter this little dog, and this man were reunited. and i will never forget what i saw.
i watched as a grown man was reunited with a member of his family. i saw the joy in this fathers eyes when he spotted his son. i saw all pretenses of “proper etiquette” be immediately dropped. I heard the passion, the excitement, the love in the fathers voice when he cried out…
“look at my boy!… look at my boy! LOOK AT MY BOY!”
and then i heard something else. i heard the cry of the Fathers heart. i heard it break. and i saw the tears. and i knew the hunger the Father had felt, when they weren’t together. and i saw the Fathers eyes… and i heard the Fathers voice, and i felt the Fathers joy when i realized that this is what happens in heaven every time… every single time, one of the Fathers sons or daughters come home.
look at my boy! LOOK AT MY BOY!!!!
this dog hadn’t been abandoned. this… this son was back home. he was safe. he was cared for. he was secure and never again would he and his Father be apart.
this Father, when he saw His son afar off, stepped out of His house and he ran. he ran to his son…
He ran.
thank you Father, for running.
something struck me earlier this evening.
2005 is almost over with.
i know, its october on the calendar. that should be a clue that “hey, the year is drawing to a close”. what hit me harder, was the fact that life still feels like its on hold.
like im circling the airport, the sunset behind me, but there isnt an open runway. my landing gear isnt dropping. “something” is keeping me from the next thing.
part of me is pushing for the next thing. part of me is hungry. unsatisfied. unwilling to accept the “now” in favor of lusting after the “next”. its a void in my life. and i know its there.
but another part of me is quietly wondering if this is the “next”. if i should stop living in the hope of a next and start living in the real of the now.
maybe its because life isnt easy. and we humans dont like to intentionally put ourselves where it hurts. but it does. losing a best friend hurts. watching your sister break down into tears at the mere thought of eating a meal hurts. being totally helpless about both of those situations… it hurts.
and the part of me that is whispering quietly about the benefit of the “now”. is quickly being drowned out by the part of me that is screaming. screaming in frustration. screaming in anger. screaming in hate. screaming in pain. screaming in fear. screaming alone.
there is supposed to be a beauty in surrendering. in learning to let go. in letting loose. there is suposed to be a beauty in giving up and giving it over to our Creator.
im beginning to believe that this beauty has more in common with an ancient shipwreck nestled in the coral at the bottom of the sea, than the beauty youd see in your local mall. its exotic. its unusual. its a beauty brought of violence. a beauty birthed with tears. a beauty that doesnt come from pampering or prestiege, but one born from loss, heartache, pain.
the difference between this beauty and the one our world worships, the one you see plastered in magazines, on tv, billboards and desired by women everywhere, the difference between true beauty and this plastic beauty is that true beauty is earned… and it cannot die.
it doesnt need to be touched up. it cannot be reapplied. it doesnt fade, warp, change or lose its luster.
true beauty is born from a brokeness within. true beauty exudes a light that no darkness, no matter how powerful, can extinguish. true beauty is both terrifying and wonderful. true beauty is a process. its a journey. and its one that requires the willingness, each and every day to step up and answer questions that you dont want to be asked. it demands all you have and when you think you’ve given all you can, it shows you more that must be given.
true beauty is horribly beautiful.
and its what i live for. or rather, what i want to live for.
so if this is “now”. if it means i need to stop panting for the “next”. then so be it. im already to the conlusion that its beyond my own power to accomplish either goal. this, more or less, is just my confession that i cannot do it. i cannot create in myself, by myself the beauty i so hunger to see. the beauty i need.
and therein lies the key.
i need.
and i cannot fulfill the need.
are we left here on our own? can you feel when your last breath is gone? night is weighing heavy now. be quite and and wait for a voice that will say…
come awake. from sleep, arise. you were dead, become alive. wake up wake up. open your eyes. climb from your grave into the light.
bring us back to life
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 