You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Life’ category.
one entire facet of my being can be described in something as small as that.
18%.
see – i got this new job. (whoopdeedoo:-)) and its an inside sales consultant job. and they asked me to take a personality test to see exactly what type of person i am. i despise those type of tests. however – the whole of my expierence with them can be summed up in two phrases “internet – stupid”. so i’d never actually had a real one. i walked in very cynical. walked out amazed.
on a scale of 50% being the average persons level of trust (0% being not at all trusting and 100% being very trusting…) i scored 18
that means that 78% of the population on earth is more trusting than i am.
anyway
quote for the day (paraphrased)
Every dark cloud has a sliver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it
many thanks to my friends @ despair.com for their inspiration
they are the wind beneath my bullet riddled wings:-)
anyway… until the next installment of this life i think im living
i dont trust you….. hehehe
adieu
hey everyone.
im writing to simply ask for your prayers.
i -most likely- need to have a new place to live in exactly one week from today
and i still dont know where that is.
their are a lot of decisions that need to be made
and i know i cant make them on my own
so im askin for help
thanks guys.
i promise a more in depth explaination when i can think pseudo-cohesivly
this life i think im living… sometimes, i wonder if its even being lived.
-adieu
i need an apartment.
in about 10 days
any ideas?
email me
if we’re lucky… we spend 80 years or so on this rock we call earth.
most of us breeze through it making the most of the oppurtunities and shying away from all that makes us uncomfortable… or brings us pain.
the few who chose to not run when the fire burns away all they know…
are the ones, who – when you look into their eyes.. you know they’ve looked defeat in the face, and they didnt look away.
they are the ones who are scarred. but they are no longer scared.
they have felt pain – but they’ve learned to not back down.
they know what the enemy can bring… because they’ve fought… and in the end – they’ve won.
someday soon… when you look into my eyes… i hope you see that.
i hope you see someone who looks beyond the present.
someone who can see beyond the whirlwind that surrounds us into the things that lay ahead
my life may not reflect anything right now. but im learning that our lives aren’t valued by the sum total of its parts.
——————-
snippets from the life i think im living.
im gonna post this now, but ill probably finish it before the nite is over
til then…
-as promised… ive returned. if only to say goodnite.
sleep well
and adieu
is there some mythical connection between certain bloggers?
take -for instance- valmarie and i.
we both havent posted in a few days and we both felt guilty about it.
weird.
weird. i have nominated it for the word of the day.
definetly fits.
so much has happend in the past 3 days.
so much.
take this blindfold off of me
im walking but i can not see…
mysteries fly at my feet
the answers come with no relief
and i, keep walking down that road.
delirious. blindfold.
life has changed. im trying to adapt with it.
so yes – as this post draws to a close i do realize it wasnt one of my longer ones. in fact, probably very short.
as my final note.
watching a friend of mine earlier this week… i was reminded of something im constantly learning and re-learning.
cherrish every moment you get with your family. because time with them can be short. very short.
until next time
i am pj (pip)
and this…
is the life i think im living
-adieu
relevant magazine
article
read it
as an addendum to my most recent post:
i dont think it was nearly as sarcastic as i thought it was going to be.
less sarcasam. a lot less.
and more simple honesty. a lot more.
anywho…
warning: this post may contain high levels of sarcasam. only for external use. call a doctor or poison control center immediately if ingested
its official.
the new closing date on the house is somewhere around the 27 of this month.
2 weeks 2 days.
im supposed to “aim for this date and if it doesnt work, then we can tell them to move it back“.
this will “save mom and dad tons of money”
but “no pressure”
no freakin pressure my butt.
another conversation with my dad that left me completely and totally frustrated and furious. he tried calling the house twice afterwards… ive ignored the phone ringing both times and turned my cell off.
greedy as it may sound – he has absolutely no clue what its like going through all this.
and the question of the moment:
where the heck is God in all of this?
ive done everything i know to do. looked for a job everywhere i know to look. cut back on expenses in every way possible. now where the heck is He? how much more will be demanded before He decides to get off His butt and do something? huh?
well – quite frankly – im sick of it. and im Calling Him on it. Show Yourself. Be who You say you are. You say my needs are met – so… whats taken so long? You say ill never lack any good thing – well, i need a new home. Be who you’re supposed to be… or get outta my life
sometimes, the life i think im living sucks
justification. the word that seems to encompass my thoughts for the past few days
justification: the word for today
websters says:
1 a : to prove or show to be just, right, or reasonable b (1) : to show to have had a sufficient legal reason (2) : to qualify oneself…
the more you go through the fire this life throws at you; if you’re willing, the more you learn about yourself. the more your own eyes open up to the fraility and ‘patheticism’ of the life you think your living. fire – as it flows through your life – has a tendency to strip away all the preconcieved notions you have about yourself. fire destroys all that isnt 100% real in your life. and what you’re left with is a pile of ashes, and hopefully… inside the charred remains of who you are… tested, tried and strengthened by fire lies the life that you will be living. the ‘new you’. fire will come. we have no choice about that. our choice lies in our response…
so i say all that to simply state that ive realized that ive lived a lot of my life trying to justify my existence on this planet. trying to justify the fact that im wearing skin. i could justify my life through my work. i was good @ what i did. and i did it with everything i had. now? im laid off.
i could justify my life through my ‘on air’ times at the station. now? i haven’t 3 hours time on the air in months.
i could justify my life through the ministries i was a major part of. now? ive definetly learned im replaceable.
what makes me worth the skin im wearing? the air im breathing? the space i take up on this world?
its not my job
its not the radio
its not the ministry
everything i ever valued about myself is slowly being torn away. im finding out that maybe im not supposed to take my worth or value from those things. what am i supposed to take stock in? im not sure. i may not be learning everything i could be, but im trying.
until the next installment of this life i think im leaving
-nite
breaking news for tonite:
blog has finally decided to plant a working cookie on my computer.
do you have any idea how annoying it is to have to log in every time you blog?
anyway… enough ranting
today consisted of
1 part starbucks
1 part moving stuff
1 part moving more stuff
3 parts chucky cheeses
3000 parts lil kids
2 parts headache
3 parts advil
2 parts John Q
1 part mac-n-cheese
2 parts big wind storm
1 part fun nite at my house
intersperse throught the mix generous amounts of a special friend
and over all…it was a good day
however, the weatherman said that it dropped 25 degrees in 10 minutes earlier this evening. sniff sniff.
moving on
thought for the nite-
good things aren’t always God things.
more later
but my hearts cry, especially to special friends… is to have a God thing. not a good thing
until the next installment of this life i think im living
today absolutely rocked
-nite all
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 