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i spent a significant portion of the last week worrying about things i honestly have no control over. and im only now realizing that i’ve been coaching my team at work, to not worry about the things in our profession that we have no control over.
i think we use the word worry, to cover a multitude of deeper questions that we ask ourselves, but rarely, if ever, get uttered out loud.
questions about why certain people get sick. or where the next car payment is going to come from. questions about why someone you love gets laid off, or why he left. how you’ll pay off that credit card, or will she actually get well.
if you’re like me, those questions immediately force us to look inward, we start to question our own worth. our own worthiness. and we question the power, the will of the One we believe set the planet in orbit.
those questions haunt. they keep us up at night. they gnaw on our souls and pick apart our peace. they destroy, bit by tiny bit, the fragile faith that lives inside of us.
when our focus fades from the One who set the stars in the sky, we lose sight of the beauty that is around us. we lose sight of the awe, the amazing, the beautiful and breathtaking. we lose the birdsong in the morning, the sun dappled canopy of trees and the crimson sunset in the evening. when we lose our focus; the challenges we face, the loneliness, the loss, the heartache, become overwhelming. we lose our sense of purpose, our sense of direction, and our reason for being.
when we lose our focus, when we lose sight of the Author of the story we’re living, our hearts grow calloused, and the ancient music flowing through our souls fades. we begin to drown in the very things we were told we would be victorious over. we struggle to breath. we fight for the things that should come easily, and we grasp at the things we’ve been asked to surrender.
when we lose sight of the One who calls the stars by name, we lose our very selves. we lose all of what matters in life.
we lose life.
admitting i need help, doesnt come easily. im stubborn, and probably proud.
ive walked a lot of this past decade alone. not that i didnt have friends and family, but i didnt let them in. i never showed weakness. i rarely let my emotions show. and when given the chance, i choke. i freeze. the questions strangle the words. and the questions tell me i am unworthy. that their friendship is conditional, that if they knew the real me, they’d leave. like my father left. that i am not worthy of the love they so freely offer. so i do what i ‘know’ is coming, and i cut off the relationship before it gets too deep.
and then i wonder, why the loneliness hurts so much.
—
‘Well, Sam!’ he said, ‘What about it? I am leaving the Shire as soon as ever I can – in fact I have made up my mind now not to even wait a day at Crickhollow, if it can be helped.’
‘Very good, sir!’
‘You still mean to come with me?’
‘I do.’
‘It is going to be dangerous, Sam. It is already dangerous. Most likely, neither of us will come back.’
‘If you don’t come back sir, then i shan’t, that’s certain,’ said Sam. ‘Don’t you leave him! they said to me. Leave him! I said. I never mean to. I am going with him, if he climbs to the Moon, and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they’ll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with, I said.
—
i’m learning that if i ever want to walk free of this pain, it means becoming reacquainted with my heart. it means allowing myself to feel again, even the things that hurt. it means digging deep into the reasons i feel so unworthy, and bringing them to the light.
it means being real with myself, and with those who call me friend.
we were born for community. for friendship. for being there. we were born to walk this life with others. after adam was created, God created (eve) to complete the story. as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. a cord of three strands is not easily broken.
to hope we get through this life unscathed is a foolish hope. but to hope that we see the beauty that surrounds us, that we hear the song that was written and sung by those who walked these paths before us, to hope that we hear the birds, see the sun dappled trees and the crimson tide of the sunset, to hope that we find beauty in unlikely places, and friends in unlikely people is a real hope. it is a wise hope. it is a hope birthed not in us, but in the Author writing this story.
we will be bruised, wounded, broken. but it needn’t be the end of our story. if we allow ourselves to refocus on the One who has never left our side, if we let go of the things we’ve grasped on to, and learn, again, to breath, we will get through it.
the roads we’re asked to walk may never be easy, they may even be dangerous. but they can be beautiful, if we can find the beauty in the brokenness. there is completion. there is healing, if we’d only believe that this, we, our story, is far from over.
the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners
–Isaiah 61
mutemath – stall out
racing on a fault line
bracing for a landslide
conscious of everything getting harder
has the race goes underwater
i keep stalling out
i just cant keep up
there’s alarming doubt
am i good enough?
but You keep coming around
to convince me
its still far from over
we are still far
we are still far
we are still far
from over
tonight? tonight my heart is full. and tonight i am challenged.
tonight, i am reminded of things bigger than me. of dreams bigger than the life im currently living. tonight i am reminded that its not that we were called to be perfect, but that we were called to trust.
tonight, i am humbled. by the beauty i see in those close to me, and close to my heart.
tonight, i am reminded again, that life isnt meant to be lived with a focus on the now. but that life was meant to be lived looking forward, looking towards something. tonight, i am reminded that the calling we follow isnt to drown in the patterns and responsibilities of our jobs or slowly fade away in the busyness of the now, but to reflect the love of the One who created the very fabric of time.
tonight, i am reminded of hope.
i am reminded that we walk by faith, and not by sight.
so even when i dont see, i will believe.
that i am not alone. that this isnt all there is. that there is more. and that we, you and i, were called to live in the more. that we were called to passionately follow the God of passionate love. that we were called to see the sunrise, feel the warmth of the ocean breeze, stand in awe of the mountains and sit in silence under the desert sky.
that we were called to love, fiercely.
i will believe that there is a great and wonderful and beautiful story being written, that we are IN this story, and that we would see it as it is.
we will see the beauty, the hope, the greatness and wonder of each day, if only we would believe.
one sonic society – burn
i was thinking a few days ago. thinking about worship, and this thing called love. and i began to understand that part of my apprehension with love in general, is the same reason that there are certain things i just wont do in public.
i wont sing.
i can stand up in front of CEO’s, Presidents, VP’s, Directors, etc. and give a presentation. but sing? i wont even do that in the shower.
why?
because when i do something, i like doing it well. very, very well. and if i cannot do it well, then i do not want to try.
thats a dangerous way to live ones life. living that way means never trying something new. it means never experiencing the sheer joy of laughing at yourself. of making a mess as you try a new recipe. of learning to dance, and quickly realizing you have two left feet, all while making your date wish she’d worn steel toed boots.
its a dangerous way to lives ones life because we werent called to perfection, we were called to trust. and its in the simple obedience, it’s in the simple trust that our best, not the best, will be good enough. its in the trust that we can make a fool of ourself on the dance floor, or sing horribly off-key during karaoke, or cause food critics everywhere to cringe with our most recent creation, that we find life, and a life worth living.
we dont raise our children to believe that unless they’re the best, there is no use in trying. when we were growing up, our refrigerators were not covered in works from Picasso, Rembrandt, Degas or Monet. rather, they were covered with a childs expression of joy. finger paints, crayons, markers and probably the occasional spaghetti sauce stain.
to the trained art critic? junk.
to a parent? priceless.
if we held ourselves to such high expectations on the only relationship that truly matters, we would never approach Him. we would never find the grace and help that He promised, if we never step boldly into His presence. we would never know the intimacy in worship, or the real life saving of a real life Saviour. we would never know the creator of our Hearts, as the One who also holds them in His hands.
we would never understand how much He loved us, how much He loves us, if we never allow ourselves to come close.
and if we dont hold ourselves to such a level of perfection with God, why would we hold ourselves to that level of expectation with our friends and family? why would we avoid them if we cannot have our facade just so? why would we put up a front, when these are the very people who care for us? and we care for?
we dont want that. when we come down to the core of what we’re looking for in our relationships, we want to see the real in each other. we want to be us, and we want to see the real person on the other side of the table.
there is a beauty in the mess. there is grace in getting your toes stepped on. there is freedom, in living life the way we were created to live it.
messily.
at times, disastrously.
but all the time, fully.
future of forestry – this hour
This is the life
The life of huge and small
Forces blind or they guide you to shore
You’re alive and you pour your heart like you should
I know you’d step back and see if you could
Don’t whisper, don’t wait
Sing out this hour
Sing out this restless hour
Sing out, sing out, and let it go
Sing on this time
Sing on this lovely time
Sing on, sing on, and let it go
This is the life
Your soul is just what they seek
You feel the clash but you scarcely can see
Love is alive and is pouring down like a flood
I know you’d step back and see if you could
Don’t whisper, don’t wait
It’s your turn, it’s yours now
You are free, to capture your daylight
you promised that if we lay aside our life, and follow you, that we would find life. and that this life would be abundant.
you promised that the road wouldn’t be easy, but that you’d never leave us.
you promised that the stories we would write in our lives, would be stories of immense beauty, if only we’d give you the pen.
i struggle with that. with giving up, and letting you have control. i dont like trust. and its not that you’re not trustworthy, because you are. it’s that i’m afraid. afraid that if i let you in, let you see the dreams i hold so tightly to my heart, that they wont come true. and the risk of losing these dreams are almost not worth letting you in.
it’s living without the sun, too afraid to go outside. it’s standing in the eventide field, under the stars, yearning for the daylight and settling for the remnants of a day reflected in the moon. always settling for an imitation, a reflection of the thing that gives life. never throwing open the door, casting ones fears to the wind and running headlong into the beautiful daylight.
you said, that if we delight in you. if we find our pleasure in you, in who you are. in your beauty, your holiness, your plans and dreams, your precepts… if we find our life in you, then you would give us the desires of our heart.
i want you.
the life that you offer. for me. for those i love and care about. i want to be a man who emulates you. i want to be the moon, standing over someone else’s night, reflecting your light, life and love into their fields of darkness. i want to live like you lived. to love like you love.
because you loved first.
one sonic society – the greatness of our God
why is it that i always run?
it’s my coping mechanism. i keep myself as busy as possible to ignore my own pain. and it took this past week for me to actually realize this. that i’m in pain, that i hurt. that there are things inside of me that hurt in ways i didnt know possible. and to avoid the pain, to stay in front of it, i run. i pack my workday with work, my evenings with more work, and when i’m not working im distracting myself with a book, excercise, tv, music or any number of other ‘medications’. anything, as long as it dulled the pain.
i run.
because i didnt want to feel.
this week, forced me to slow down.
in just a few short hours my final day of vacation ends. and to be honest, i dont know what to do. this past week was a waterfall to a parched land. it was life, breathed into me.
this week reminded me of so much. i saw beauty. pure, untouched beauty placed inside of those who call me friend. i saw friendship, in its most amazing state. i saw love. new love between those recently married. and old love, tried by fire but burning brightly between those closer to being grandparents and great-grandparents than newlyweds.
i said hello to new things, and goodbye to the old.
the flashes of brilliant light no longer offered just a peek into the beauty and future of someone i cared for, but a glimpse into my own life. into the promises that have been on hold. the promises i had given up on. the promises of joy, of color, of friendship and beauty, the promises of redemption and of love.
the promises that, if i’m honest, i thought were gone.
but most of all, i saw beauty.
there were moments when all i wanted to do was watch, see how these amazing people lived their lives. stand in awe of the simple fact that they call me friend. i slowed down. and i was caught unaware, by the beauty that was all around me.
the pain came too. it did. and it will continue to do so. but im going to work through that. i’m going to unpack the garage and find my heart again.
because i now know im not alone.
and beyond all the other blessings this week held, knowing that, knowing that i’m not alone, is worth more to me than anything i’ve ever been given.
beth and aaron, jenna and pete, val, robbie, denis, wendy, jen, april – thank you.
Future of Forestry – Slow Your Breath Down
this chest is full of memories
of gold and silver tears
i’ll give you more to own than all of this
and i’ll give you more than years
for you were once a child of innocence
and i see you just the same
your burdens couldnt win or lose a thing
oh i’d tell you once again
but you’re always on the run
slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your heart now, oh
you can trust in love again
slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your smile now, oh
you can trust in love again
if you leave, i’ll still be close to you
when all your fears rain down
i’ll take you back a thousand times again
and i’ll take you as my own
i will sing you songs of innocence
till the light of morning comes
till the rays of golden honey cover you
in the sweetness of the dawn
but you’re always on the run
slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your heart now oh
you can trust in love again
slow your breath down
just take it slow
find your smile now oh
you can trust in love again
you’re not alone
you’re now a part of me
you feel the cure
i feel the toil it brought you
so much can change in 24 hours, and so much can be uncovered. in just a moment, dreams can be fulfilled, passions fueled and our wildest imaginations can become reality. in just a moment, hearts can break. and we can be left picking up the pieces.
and in just a moment, our lives no longer make as much sense as they once did.
sometimes it takes a moment of heartache to shake lose the paint thats has been crumbling, and allow the failing posts to appear from behind their whitewashed exterior.
i wish it didnt take something harsh to rip away the mask. that i’d be more willing to allow it to drop and deal with the issues at hand, find healing….
but i’m not. i much prefer to run around with a hammer, nails and a paint brush and work fervently to keep the crumbling facade in a state of perpetual well-painted disrepair.
i prefer the masks.
because i’m done with the pain. i’m done dealing with it. surviving around it, pretending its not there. my heart is is like the jalopy you’ve had parked in the garage for years, taking up space in hopes that someday in the future you’ll find someone with the knowledge, skills, time and desire to fix what was broken. and although you’ve tried, you cannot remember the last time it worked, the last time it actually ran.
at some point, you decide that its not worth keeping any longer, that its just easier to start with a clean slate. you’ve got some boxes that could be stored in the garage, if only you had the room. you dont see any value in keeping this old car. it doesnt work and its more rust and holes than metal and paint. so you make a phone call, and have the old heap towed to the dump.
at some point, you decide your heart isnt worth keeping any longer. that its just easier not to feel anything. you’ve got something that resembles a life to live, and the pain that takes your breath away, now just gets in the way of going through those oh-so-important motions. so you make the decision, that love, that loving, just isnt worth it. so you banish your heart to the far comers of your existence. you chose to live as robotic as possible. you stuff those boxes in and around the holes in your heart, and in time, you forget its there.
you dont go out to the garage anymore.
and it’s not until a fierce storm knocks down a tree and damages the roof of the garage that you’re forced to open the doors, and you’re reacquainted with your heart. and you realize again how much of a mess everything is. and how broken everything is. and you dont honestly see how something this broken can be made whole.
so you patch up the garage, close the door, and move on with your life. you go through the motions, hoping that the storms of life will bypass your garage and that you wont have to deal with the brokenness that exists inside of your chest.
we can want that, we can hope and pray and pretend that the storms will pass us by. and if we’re lucky, we’ll live a fair portion of our lives storm free. but inevitably, storms come.
and its in those moments, when we’re forced to confront who we are, who we’ve become, the decisions we’ve made and the clutter we’ve hidden, that we take our biggest steps. that our destinies are written, and rewritten.
it’s in those moments that chapters end, and new chapters begin. that we change. that we find the courage we never had, and the beauty that existed inside of us all along.
and its in those moments, that we make the decisions that set the course for the rest of our lives.
we either patch up the garage, and go about the motions, or we leave the doors open, and begin the painful process of unpacking our hearts. of facing the holes, the rust, the stains and the brokenness. of facing the pain and dealing with it….
even if it means we hurt.
we either continue something that resembles living, or we allow ourselves to be deconstructed, in the hope of one day, finding this thing called life. in the hope of finding it abundantly.
Future of Forestry – Sanctitatis
i think, if we’re honest with ourselves, we would say we were each left with questions. we would nod our heads and agree that we could each remember a time when those who came before us, who were supposed to build us up, show us the ropes, explain how to work this thing called life, those people, dropped the ball.
i think we were all left with questions.
we’d knock our glasses together, give each other looks that say ‘we understand’ and drink to the fact that we all have life experiences that echo the same questions.
we’d pat shoulders, and give hugs. we’d be there for each other and support each other through the act of simple remembrance. remembering when we first asked these questions, when we first lived through these experiences of not knowing. of waking up every morning and questioning if we have what it takes. if we have what it takes to be the man or woman we want to see staring back at us in the mirror. if we can be successful. if we’re intelligent, smart, handsome or beautiful.
i think we all have our own questions. as much as it’s a shared experience, the questions are very personal. and the ones you may struggle with, i may not. but as diverse, personal and individual the questions are, i believe if we peeled away the layers, if we looked deeper, we would all come to the place where at the heart of the issue, beats one question.
am i worthy?
and the sad thing, is that most of us will live our entire lives avoiding the answers. we’ll live our lives so shallow, drowning in the circumstantial, that the questions will never get faced. we will never allow ourselves to face the pain that those questions left us with.
maybe the question was first given to you by an experience in your childhood. maybe it was a heartbreak in your teen years, or the abandonment of someone close. maybe it was innocence that was stripped away. maybe it was as simple as someone important not taking the time to show you what they were supposed to show you.
however the questions present themselves, if you’re like me, this is the question you’ve realized you’ve been asking all this time. am i worthy? am i worth it?
am i worth the love of a woman?
the love of a Saviour?
will i live my life avoiding the answers? will i whitewash the walls? will i constrain myself to live in shallow tidal pools all the while dreaming of distant shorelines? or will i ask the only question that actually matters?
will i ask to be written into the great story? will i ask to be written into the song of grace? the song that started millenia ago and that is being woven together even today?
inside of that story, the questions that haunt us find their answers. the wounds we carry, find healing. and our scars, become medals. in that story, in that great overarching story written by an Author far beyond our comprehension, we find grace, we find beauty, we find we are beautiful, and we find freedom.
in that story, its not that the question gets answered. it’s that we realize, that it never really mattered.
one sonic society – burn
this weekend is full of memories. there is something about Memorial day weekend that seems to cause moments of more depth, of more story than other weekends. maybe it’s that this weekend heralds the soon arriving summer, or that it is on this weekend we pause and honestly remember. we remember those who fought and those who died, protecting the liberties and freedoms we take so often for granted.
this weekend brings memories of happy times. of camp fires, smores, trips to the lake. and it also brings with it memories that are wholly different. memories not of what did happen, but of what didnt.
memories, seem to be the theme, the subject, the story that is being told right now. i’ve caught myself more this weekend then i have in a long time, remembering. thinking back. and in some ways, looking forward.
thinking back to a time many years ago when life seemed simpler. when friends were closer and when joy was easier. when following this path, when writing this story was easier than it is now.
do i regret the decisions i’ve made between then and now? some of them, yes, absolutely. i think if we’re honest, we would all say we have things we wish we’d done and didnt, or that we did, and would give our right arm to have never done. we’ve all hungered after grace, after forgiveness, even if we didnt know it was what we needed. our stories, if they share any common thread, is that we all made mistakes, we all failed at something. that our memories, our stories of times past aren’t all full of golden moments. that there are dark times in our past, times we wished we could forget.
if anything though, it’s remembering those times, those times that remind us of old scars, memories that still need effort to push beyond, its in those memories that we find the tenacity, the desire, the will, drive and passion to make new memories. its in remembering those who’ve died for our freedoms that we remember we are free. it’s in stopping and letting the memory wash over us that we realize how far we’ve come, how the scars have healed, and in some cases, how far we have to go.
it’s in remembering, that we see our story that has been written. and it’s in remembering, that we see how many blank pages are yet to be written in.
this moment, right now, is a blank page. and how i chose to use it, the words i chose to write on it, are done so with indelible ink. once written, they will never be erased.
and my heart aches, in a good way. for the challenge, for the calling that i hear. to make these next pages count. to show those i love, that they’re loved. to love unconditionally, without fear. to learn what being a son means, and in the process, to discover what it means to be a man.
all we have, all we’re ever truly given, is a blank page and a pen. and the whispered call of the One we call Father, to follow His leading.
so as you sit, as i sit, on this day of Memorial, we should do just that. remember. remember where we’ve come from, and remember those who sacrificed their all in defense of freedom. of the freedom for us to write our own stories. and may we also look forward, to the blank pages.
may we pick up our pens, and write our stories. and may our stories, be worth telling.
Future of Forestry – Close Your Eyes
there is no faith if there is no mystery. faith, in it’s most basic form, requires mystery, requires questions to be unanswered. it requires us to believe when that belief doesnt make sense. faith requires us to push beyond the safety of the harbor, even if we cannot see through the fog that surrounds us.
there is no faith, if you can see the end of your journey when you begin.
i’m thirty. and even though i can look back and see some crazy leaps of faith, some moments where i sailed farther from the shore than i had ever done, i’d always had a backup plan. i’d always kept a chart that showed how to get back to safety. just in case this leap of faith didnt pan out.
i dont want to say the same thing when i turn 31. i want to look back on my thirtieth year knowing that i took the biggest leaps of faith ive ever taken. that i gave up backup plans and put it all on the line. that i sailed farther from shore than i had ever sailed before.
and im not the only one im praying this for. i’ve got a friend in florida who’s been on my heart a lot lately. and i want the same for her. i want her to push out from shore farther than she’s ever gone, find that her heavenly Father really is all she needs, and realize all over again how much He loves her for all of who she is. that He created her. specifically. for this time in history. that she’s important and has a very specific job to do while she’s here.
because she’s gifted. and because she’s a gift.
and because it’s in pushing beyond the safe waters and into the unexplored that we find those moments of life. that we find islands previously unknown. that we experience moments of holy design. moments that wreck our preconceived notions. moments that take apart our boxes and show us that there is more to life than the safety of the cove. it’s when we take those risks that we find beauty in its rarest of forms.
when we chose to follow the Author of this story, we arent promised calm waters or even what most would consider safe passage. but we were promised that He wouldnt leave us. that we wouldn’t be alone, even during the loneliest of nights. we were promised life. full, abundant and above our wildest dreams life. life, if we would trust Him enough to push-off from shore, and away from the safety of the harbor.
Matt Redman – When All Is Said and Done
life’s too short to be lukewarm
this i know, this i know
Jesus you can have it all
my every breath, my every breath
i need Your power to live this life
this i know, this i know
i cant do this by myself
You’re Christ in me
my only hope, my only hope
as i walk this broken world
tune my life to heavens song
for i am Yours
and when all is said in and done
tune my life’s to heavens song
forevermore, forevermore
i need your power to live this life
this i know, this i know
no i cant do this by myself
You’re Christ in me
my only hope, my only hope
as i walk this broken world
tune my life to heavens song
for i am Yours
and when all is said and done
tune my life to heavens song….
i didnt realize it until just a few days ago, but on february 15 my blog turned 8 (happy birthday blog!). 8 years. wow.
when i started out on this journey, one of the first things i said was that i wanted it to be real. i didnt want to pull punches or hide behind shoddily constructed white-washed walls. i’ll admit that since that time, some posts havent been the most positive. even recently i know you’ve seen me struggle. hopefully, the struggle means ive been confronting things in my life. things i’ve dealt with for years but i’ve never actually overcome.
and honestly, as i move forward, and as i face these demons once and for all, i cannot promise that future postings will be happy and full of cheer. life isnt like that. life isnt full of fluff and cotton candy. life is hard. it was meant to be. and the more i live it, the more i realize that there are things, people, worth fighting for. that there are dreams i desperately want to see come to pass. that there are people i care deeply about. people i will fight for. people i’ll put it all on the line, come hell or high-water, is that all you’ve got, fight for.
the more i live this life, the more i realize that it’s through the hardships that we come to understand true worth, that we come to realize how deep real beauty lies. that its in fighting through the crashing waves that we realize how important our next breath is. and its when we’ve seen how much depravity exists, that our eyes understand how much grace we’ve been shown.
it’s only in the darkest of our days that the we understand how important light is.
i think the most important thing i’ve learned thus far, on this journey, is that we shouldnt run from our hardships. because it’s in the midst of whatever it is we’re walking through, that we so often find what we never knew we needed.
my mp3 player is always on random. and with 30 gigs of music to chose from, it really is random. most times, i dont really focus on what’s playing as it’s really just something to help me focus at work. earlier this morning, this song came on. and although i purchased the album some time ago, this was the first time ive actually listened this song. since then, it’s been on repeat. why? because i needed to hear it.
and if you’re at all like me, then you need to hear it too.
i cannot promise that life will be easy when you wake up tomorrow. but if you stick with it, and deal with what you need to deal with, it will be beautiful. it will.
Fee – Arms That Hold The Universe
i know it seems like this could be
the darkest day you’ve known
but believe you me, the God of strength
will never let you go
He will overcome, i know
and the arms that hold the universe
are holding you tonight
you can rest inside
it’s gonna be alright
and the voice that calmed the raging sea
is calling you His child
so be still and know He’s in control
He will never let you go
through many dangers, toils and snares
you have already come
but His grace has brought you safe this far
and His grace will lead you home
and the arms that hold the universe
are holding you tonight
you can rest inside
it’s gonna be alright
and the voice that calmed the raging sea
is calling you His child
so be still and know He’s in control
He will never let you go
you can hope, you can rise|
you can stand
He’s still got the whole world
in his Hands
FindingTheCourageToDream.com 